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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My Grandparents had a business with my Aunt. When my GP got older and retired they lived on a stipend from the business. They lived this way for many years and then my GF passed. My GM continued to live alone until my Aunt ran into financial problems with the buisness, the Covid ere was the “great buisness destroyer” She moved my GM in with her to save money and unfortunately there was no money for a stipend every month. My GM has 3 children, my Uncle, Aunt and my Mother. My Aunt was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and her health deteriorated rapidly. She was unable to care for my GM any longer. My mother couldn’t do it as my father has congenital heart failure and kidney issues. My uncle flat out refused to help out. Saying it wasn’t his responsibility. My Wife and I stepped up and moved my GM to a different state to live with us. we were given Medical POA and nothing else since at the time she paid her own bills with some assistance. My Aunt has a joint bank account with my grandmother that has roughly 7k in it and still receives the SS deposit every month. My GM and I opened a joint account here. She transferred 15k into the account she shares with me and reimbursed us for the moving cost as well as paying us a monthly stipend for her care. Her SS deposit is still going into my Aunts account she shares with my GM. She has been with us for 6 weeks. Unfortunately 3 weeks ago she ended up in the hospital and things aren’t looking good. Her dementia has gotten bad since her medical crisis. She is still is in the hospital. My Uncle who never care about her or her care showed up out of nowhere and caused a horrible scene in the hospital. I tried my best to keep things civil and agreed to let him visit with her at the hospital. The nurses caught him trying to get my GM to give him her SS number. With the hospitals support we decided to ban him from the hospital. He was found to ignore the ban and was found in her room and security had to be called. Yesterday In my GM room a DFS social worker showed up. My uncle had accused me of elder abuse and exploitation. I was told police were involved. Non of the siblings talk to my uncle, he burned those bridges! The SW took down a bunch of information about the different bank accounts my GM has. I’m terrified, we were the only ones that stepped up to care for her. The only money we have used is to reimburse the moving expenses (we have receipts) and pay a small monthly stipend for her care
You don't ask an actual question but you should probably consult with an attorney that specializes in this sort of thing and elder abuse to get the best guidance as to how this may play out and what your next steps may need to be.
I'm hoping when your GM reimbursed you for the moving expenses you kept the receipts and documented what they were for. If not, the lawyer will come in handy give you proper guidance.
Thank You for your reply. I guess I didn’t really ask a question. I have so many questions ! Yes we have the receipts for the move. And are talking to an attorney this afternoon.
You are doing correct - Keep all GM receipts and bills separate from yours. You can prove that she has bills that need to be paid and that the SS check should be sent to her and she should have access to the account with your aunt. Should have called SS and had that check transferred to new account. Anyway, always good to talk to a lawyer worth the money!!!
If you are being paid a stipend for her care, what account is that coming out of, since Aunt and a demented GM have control of the account SS goes into? Did you have a contract for that "stipend". Because without it there could now be serious problems.
What normally happens is this: 1. An elder, GM here, gives POA to family member of her choice either as a springing document in her regular will or as a seperate document drawn by an attorney. This can only be done when she is competent. 2. The POA doesn't use this POA until two physicians attest to grandmother's incompetence in her own decisions. 3. Once in place the POA is on ALL accounts as the signee of checks. He/she could not remove Aunt who is now co owner of that particular account. But he could go to SS to become representative payee of SS with the same two letters attesting to grandmother's incompetence. That's number 4. so... 4. The POA now goes to SS office with the letters to apply to be the "representative payee" and SS would thereafter go to a special account on which records would be submitted yearly. 5. If a STIPEND were needed to care for grandmother then a contract for "shared living expenses" would be drawn by an attorney. Difficult to get done once grandmother has dementia. Careful monthly records would be kept by the POA of every penny into and out of any accounts.
NONE of this was done. So yes, this is now a terrible mess. You are currently answering all questions honestly; at this point that's the best you can do. Warring children and grandchildren will often ALL LOSE in court and the state will likely here appoint a Court Appointed Fiduciary. APS may see to it that a case for guardianship of grandmother goes forward at this point to the courts. Grandmother will likely be placed, which is as it should be. All warring siblings and grandchildren will be able to visit her without worrying about her money, placement, or much of anything else.
I would welcome APS. I would tell them this is all out of your control and you would appreciate the state taking over for your Grandmother's protection from her nefarious children.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm hoping when your GM reimbursed you for the moving expenses you kept the receipts and documented what they were for. If not, the lawyer will come in handy give you proper guidance.
What normally happens is this:
1. An elder, GM here, gives POA to family member of her choice either as a springing document in her regular will or as a seperate document drawn by an attorney. This can only be done when she is competent.
2. The POA doesn't use this POA until two physicians attest to grandmother's incompetence in her own decisions.
3. Once in place the POA is on ALL accounts as the signee of checks. He/she could not remove Aunt who is now co owner of that particular account. But he could go to SS to become representative payee of SS with the same two letters attesting to grandmother's incompetence. That's number 4. so...
4. The POA now goes to SS office with the letters to apply to be the "representative payee" and SS would thereafter go to a special account on which records would be submitted yearly.
5. If a STIPEND were needed to care for grandmother then a contract for "shared living expenses" would be drawn by an attorney. Difficult to get done once grandmother has dementia. Careful monthly records would be kept by the POA of every penny into and out of any accounts.
NONE of this was done.
So yes, this is now a terrible mess.
You are currently answering all questions honestly; at this point that's the best you can do.
Warring children and grandchildren will often ALL LOSE in court and the state will likely here appoint a Court Appointed Fiduciary. APS may see to it that a case for guardianship of grandmother goes forward at this point to the courts.
Grandmother will likely be placed, which is as it should be.
All warring siblings and grandchildren will be able to visit her without worrying about her money, placement, or much of anything else.
I would welcome APS. I would tell them this is all out of your control and you would appreciate the state taking over for your Grandmother's protection from her nefarious children.