I have been mum's caregiver for 9 yrs now but I am a single mum with 3 small children which are too much for mum to deal with at 89 years old. My sister has no responsibility to anyone beyond herself, she is a full time teacher and owns her own house which is big. Yet she won't support or care for mum and mum will need to go into care since she cannot risk falling on a toy or the other aspects of small children. I want to sue my sister for negligence and/or not helping me with mum over the years, can I do this? I feel she owes me damages! And if I won damages from her, I would be able to afford a home that came with a separate suite for mum so she can be near us but not within the same home as us.
States with filial responsibility laws are: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, and West Virginia.
I believe this is financial responsibility only. There is no requirement that children are nice to their parents, or take them into their homes, or personally provide caregiving. Just meet their basic necessities and, in effect, keep them from being homeless and living on the streets and eating out of soup kitchens. Of course, some children are living in shelters themselves, or living in poverty, etc. so many factors go into a decision -- it is not just "you have to provide for your parent no matter what."
So, if you, your mother, and your sister live in one of the 30 states that have such laws, you may be able to force your sister to make a financial contribution to mother's care. Whether that can be retroactive for the past nine years, and whether you could successfully sue for damages I sure don't know. I think that you will need professional legal advice for that.
If you live in one of the 20 states that do not have filial responsibility laws, then I think your grounds for suing are a little shakier. But don't take my guess for it -- see a lawyer.
This is a very sad family situation. I have no idea where your sister is coming from on this issue, and why she has avoided helping with her mother. Some children have very legitimate reasons for keeping their distance, as we see over and over again on these forums. So I'm not judging your sister without knowing any of the background. But my heart does go out to you, doing your best to care for your mother as an only child, even though she gave birth to two.
If you do pursue this with a lawyer, I'm sure many people would be interested in the outcome. We learn from each other on this board.
I am in Canada...I guess I need to consult a lawyer...I just feel it is so unfair and she should be held accountable. :(
With all due respect-- I get so annoyed when I hear people who CHOSE to have children say that those of us who didn't have children have no responsibilities. Your sister is a full time teacher, how do you figure that is not a responsibility? I have worked and supported myself for 34 years, self employed doing geriatric care. How is it that getting up every morning, not taking vacations and having to go to work 5 or 6 days a week is not a responsibility in your eyes?
Do you have to get up and go to a job every day to financially support yourself?
32. Every child who is not a minor has an obligation to provide support, in accordance with need, for his or her parent who has cared for or provided support for the child, to the extent that the child is capable of doing so. R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 32.