When my father wanted to move here after my mom passed, I told him I had no problem with it but, I would need to close my daycare (after 32 years) and wouldnt be able to work outside the house as I would need to take care of him. He agreed it fair to pay me what I would make if i had 2 children in care full time. As POA on his account, I went ahead and wrote 2 checks a month, once on the 1st, once on the 16th. I paid for all food out of this for him, and some other small items. If/when he needed clothes, supplements, his cigs, meds, etc I wrote checks from his account directly to the store so there is a paper trail.
Fast forward to now. I have no money set aside because as utilities went up and food costs, some expenses out of pocket I didnt take from his account to cover extra expenses. Once all bills were paid no extra money set aside because there wasnt any extra. Scares the heck out of me because we almost lost our house last summer and worried about what I am going to do the day my dad will no longer be with us and the time it will take to restart my daycare and/or find a job outside the house. I cant risk losing my house again!
I am considering taking enough money to cover 3 months of mortgage and utilities from his account, which adds up to what he said was fair to him in the beginning, and setting it aside in another account to be sure i can pay those bills until I reopen my daycare, which may not happen until beginning of September (going to take that long to attend an orientation beginning of August and go through the app and process which they said could take 6 weeks!). Then to find the kids. I am good for this month, so the money would carry me at least until October.
Does anyone know if i can get in trouble for that? I have a friend who is a paralegal who has told me to do it, but then I have someone else telling me I could be hit with a lien against my house.
If it matters, the only ones left will be myself and my sister and there is a will. So it is spelled out who gets what. I honestly dont care about the money, but i worry about almost losing my house again!
I am looking for an elder law attorney today to talk to.
Is dad somehow better that he doesn't need caregiving OR has moved to stay with Sissy OR is it that dad is /has moved into a facility?
If its the latter & dad is now at a facility and is applying or has applied for medicaid to pay for his NH.....all that $ dad gave you will trigger a transfer penalty inquiry by medicaid which totally will effect his eligibility for medicaid which in turn places a bill by the facility to you or whomever is on file at the NH for dads financial responsibility. I'd bet this is what your friend was getting at by their telling you that you face having a lien placed on your home (by the facility for nonpayment of dads care).
Really your situation has many red flags, you need an eldercare atty advise & ASAP. I'd be concerned that your personal financial situation - business closed & being at the edge of foreclosure recently - and using dads $ to keep your household afloat may pose APS /or POA fiduciary issues in addition to Medicaid transfer penalty issues.
What's in a will only matters if deceased had assets that becomes his estate.
However, your mother passed away & your dad wanted to come live with you. Why did you have to shut down the day care, and why couldn't you work outside the house? What kind of "care" did your father need? It sounds odd that you bought his food separately from your own food, and paid for it separately as well. I don't know how much money he was giving you, but it couldn't have been that much if all you used it for was food and some other small items.
You speak in one paragraph as if you want to take 3 months of money to pay for expenses "just in case" your father isn't living there anymore & until you re-start the daycare----then you say that you ARE re-starting the daycare in September. Where is your father? Is he still living with you? Is he in a LTC facility now? If he went into a LTC facility, all of his expenses and expenditures must be able to be tracked, or it will be considered "gifts" and the LTC facility could definitely put a lien on your house to get that money back. If he is not in a LTC facility, he doesn't need room/board at your house anymore, and I would be very careful about writing yourself checks for a 3 month advance. It really has nothing to do with a will---the LTC facility wants their money before he goes on Medicaid & they'll do whatever it takes to get it, including suing you for the money.
I know hindsight is 20/20, but from the very beginning, finances should have been more distinctly divided and recorded in a legal fashion. He was paying you what you would have made taking care of 2 kids at the day care. However, he is not 2 kids----he is one elderly adult that requires much different care. He also lived in your house 24/7, so some sort of "rent" should have been figured in there as well. I find your post to be a bit confusing.
You don't say where dad is going to live in September when you plan to reopen your daycare. Would this be in your home with Dad also living there? All monies he gave you to live with you will count as a gift, if you didn't have a proper caregivers contract written up by an attorney. A paralegal is NOT an attorney. Get advice from a top elder law attorney before you write anymore checks out to yourself.
Lastly, Dad's care will get more complicated as he ages. Good luck and let us know what your attorney advises.
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