My mom has a sister that was recently sent home to pass ( Brain Cancer ). They have not spoken in many years after the passing of my grandmother ( family upset over will and $ ) mom has early Alz. and sometimes not sure as to what sister it is. She ( mom)has panic attacks and takes a nerve RX for it. My fear is if I take her to see her sister that it will be to much for her and send her over the edge. She's been with me for 5 years and other than the short term memory problem , she's ok ( able to feed , dress, drive local , ) again my fear is this visit would be to much of a shock for her. I'm torn as what to do and would appreciate the opinion of others in similar position.
Thank you.
If not, I wouldn't suggest the visit.
If your aunt has, you need to decide whether on balance it will be beneficial to your mother for her to visit or not - weighing the stress and upset and effort against the possibilities of reconciliation, acceptance and leave-taking. If you decide it isn't beneficial, then visit your aunt yourself if you can and explain. If you decide it is, stay in charge of any conversations and get your mother out of there if it's going badly: don't allow her to be distressed by anyone else.
If your mother is aware of your aunt's condition and wants to see her, it's easy - you must take her, and be ready to manage any fall-out as well as you can.
Good luck. And once you've made your reasoned decision, don't feel guilty about it: you'll have done your best.
You said your Mom feeds, dresses herself which is so helpful to you, but I have to say that her driving even locally with ALZ and panic attacks raises a red flag! Maybe it's time to rethink her driving..
Thank you. No skype or letters. I can drive mom it will be a 1 1/2 -2 hr drive. And I've been waiting for my inner voice to speak , but this one is a tough one. Half of me says why bother because they haven't spoke in years and mom may not remember soon after anyway . Also the possible pain and damage it could cause my mom. Then my guilt says take the high road and put all feelings aside and take her. I hope to make the right decision soon then again I don't know if such a thing exists . I've given my self one week to do something.
Thanks again for your opinion I do appreciate it.