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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My goodness Mudslidemary, that's a lot to deal with. Your feelings are certainly understandable, based on what you say in your profile. I don't have any advice for the care of a spouse with dementia, but, I do think that in general, I would get a consult with a good Elder Law attorney who can advise you of your situation and asset protection and what protection a spouse has in these situations. I would make that my top priority. If your DH hasn't signed documents for POA, you might want those done pronto, while he is still able.
As a nurse, you probably already know what to expect. I'd just explore how you would get the help you need inside the home or if placement would be the route you go. I know that many people recommend adult care centers, if DH is able to go, in order to give you time for yourself.
I'm sure you'll get tips from others around here, who have gone through this. Don't forget to take time for yourself and ask for help often.
mudslidemarry - Have you thought about moving to an Assisted Living place? If your finance allows you to pay for it, then you should look into it. At AL, there will be many activities that you and your husband can participate, together or separately. There will be support if needed. Once your husband is acclimated to the place and people there, he will be less likely to follow you around like a puppy. You can have a chance to do your own things and carve out a slice of life without him glued to your side 24/7.
As his dementia progresses, AL can provide more help, or you can move him to a memory care facility. Many AL places also have a memory care wing.
A "retirement community" that will transition from Independent, Assisted to Memory Care might be a good move for you if it is possible. He is following you because you are his "safety net" he knows you, knows you are safe and will continue to understand him. A place that can give you time to do things you want to do while keeping him safe is a good start. Either Adult Day Care of if possible the move that will make it easier for both of you. If possible find a good Support Group, you will need it. This forum is great but sitting with people and talking about what is going on is very helpful. Just the contact with people is needed. If you have family or if he has family that can help begin to ask for that help. If possible ask if someone can be with him 1 day a week to give you a break.
Is he a Veteran? If so it is very possible that you can get help through the VA. Depending on where and when he served it might be a little help or a LOT of help. (Rules ave changed recently and there are a lot of changes that could effect the help and possibly even payment for helping your spouse)
Check your local Senior Center or Agency on Aging to see what help they may offer.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As a nurse, you probably already know what to expect. I'd just explore how you would get the help you need inside the home or if placement would be the route you go. I know that many people recommend adult care centers, if DH is able to go, in order to give you time for yourself.
I'm sure you'll get tips from others around here, who have gone through this. Don't forget to take time for yourself and ask for help often.
As his dementia progresses, AL can provide more help, or you can move him to a memory care facility. Many AL places also have a memory care wing.
He is following you because you are his "safety net" he knows you, knows you are safe and will continue to understand him.
A place that can give you time to do things you want to do while keeping him safe is a good start. Either Adult Day Care of if possible the move that will make it easier for both of you.
If possible find a good Support Group, you will need it. This forum is great but sitting with people and talking about what is going on is very helpful. Just the contact with people is needed.
If you have family or if he has family that can help begin to ask for that help.
If possible ask if someone can be with him 1 day a week to give you a break.
Is he a Veteran? If so it is very possible that you can get help through the VA. Depending on where and when he served it might be a little help or a LOT of help. (Rules ave changed recently and there are a lot of changes that could effect the help and possibly even payment for helping your spouse)
Check your local Senior Center or Agency on Aging to see what help they may offer.