Two sons unable to care for her due to own health and age and daughter in law unable to help due to breast cancer and treatments. Mother in law is a very nasty person and hard to get along with. She needs help in everything. Thinking about nursing home care. She has only her pension and social security. How do you talk to a person who does not want to listen. We have no other options.
Good luck dear, and may God add His Blessings to your situation. I'm praying for you! C-ya!
Just a few ideas...are you able to take her to see 2-3 possible facilities so she feels she has at least a little choice in where she lives? Could you help her pick out a few small pieces of furniture and some loved possessions to take with her? Maybe, just giving her that little control will soften the situation. If you are firm with the statement that she has to move but you will let her chose what to take with her (and where she moves if that is possible) hopefully she will accept what you and the social service workers are telling her.
I think this also serves as a wake up call to all of us that we need to have these conversations early and often with those we love (I am not in any way judging your situation; maybe you've done all this already). It's also a good reminder that we all need to be planning ahead and putting our wishes in writing to save our loved ones from being in the tough situation you are in now. God bless!
I agree that calling your county social services would like be the best thing. A woman that age with health problems and little money will qualify for Medicaid which would pay the nursing home costs. She will fight anything you do, so you need to get professionals involved and let them take over. She may adjust eventually, once she knows that she can't change her situation.
Good luck to you all with your own health issues.
Carol
While nursing homes are often a last resort; it can be the only solution. My mother lived in a nursing home; and of course, they have their pros and cons. But, after a period of adjustment (like anything), my mother became quite content. They are with others with similar problems. There was a lovely lunch room where my mother could have her meals if she chose to; a recreation room that served as an entertainment center, craft projects; and other forms of activities. Also, there was religious affiliations as well.
Social workers from the elder services assisting me; would come out and be with me while I spoke to my mother about the situation and are extremely supportive. Hugs to you across the miles and hope things can work out for you.