We have been bringing my fil to his home on the weekends. He loves it and it seems to do him a world of good. I have a bil and sil that do not like me. Haven't spoke to me in years. They are in another state. They didn't talk to my in-laws for 3 years, when my mil was sick would occasional visit. When she passed away, they didn't speak to my fil for over a year. When he got sick, my other sil convinced him to start coming up and seeing my fil. Which he does, in the nursing home/rehab and whenever he goes in the hospital and ICU. They do not participate in his care. The last time we saw them, my fil was in ICU. We were informed my the nurse only two visitors. My sil told my husband and I "We drove all the way up here, we aren't leaving and we aren't staying long." (this isn't the daughter, the bil is the son) We left. I went back later, he was alone and was visiting him and they walked in. The nurse again said only two. Sil walked out. I got up and said "go on in" her reply "Thanks, I'm surprised though." This is typical. Anyway, what I'm getting at is. They come up on weekends. I told my husband, I think we should find out when they are coming up, and since we take him out every weekend, let them know what things need to be done, and let them have their time with my fil. Make sure they know, he needs help with this and that, about the oxygen, etc.. but since we live a mile down the road, just go home and allow them that time. My husband says NO. They don't deserve it. If they want to see him, they will have to put up with us being there. As bad as they have treated us, I feel like I can do this for them. As for my fil, he can care less if they visit for not. Am I being to easy? I feel like I'm taking the high road. Should I again step back, since he is just my fil, and do as my husband, his son ask? I know my sil, his daughter, likes for her other brother and sil to visit my fil. Not sure what to do. Seems like I am the primary caregiver now...until my sil comes up for a few days/week or what ever suits her.
i can state that with experience behind it . my youngest sis and i always had some kind of childhood rivalry. since moms death we are getting along fine. shes in physical rehab for a blown knee , noone to reach out too much so she wrote to me. it really beats the s**t out of being hateful to one another. were all the community elders now. theres no telling when we might need each other..
the relationship got better simply because i respected theyre time alone with mom. i was primary caregiver , not a control freak..
If dad will not be able to return home, taking him there is a bad idea, focus him on where he will be living.