My 89 yo parents live in a house and so have two caregivers to transfer my mom to and from potty to bed and back to chair etc. I am POA but not legal guardian....now there is dementia with both and I just found out that mom and dad agreed to give the one caregiver a "loan" for $2800! (her car is always breaking down). Because I cannot refute their offering to her...I did write up an personal loan agreement for her to sign (with NO hope of ever seeing it repaid). Is it time to go to court for full guardianship so I have the power to protect them from this sort of thing? They have limited funds to last their final years and I handle all the check/bill payments....as they cannot. We cannot lose this caregiver as they are very scarce here.
Carol
If there wasn't an atty. involved for the DPOA, then I'd suggest you contact the Area of Aging for your region. All states have AoA but their HQ may be in a bigger city. AoA are part of your states Council of Governments which are in all states and serve as kinda a bridge between federal and private grant $ and are paid by your tax $. Some AoA are big full standing agencies (like Houston's AoA) but are still under the COG umbrella for funding (like for Houston it is part of the Houston Galveston COG). The AoA will have names of resources for doing guardianships for low-income situations.
The situation for your folks to be quite honest sounds like it's just one event from there being a domino of problems…… they are both aging, with dementia, living in a home and mom cannot walk on her own if there is an emergency and need 2 caregivers and their funds are limited. They need to be somewhere that has 24/7 skilled oversight. If they are low income, they will qualify financially for Medicaid; mom certainly will for the "medically at need" part for Medicaid & perhaps your dad will also. What is keeping you as DPOA from finding a facility for them and moving them into it and then selling their home? If they need to apply for Medicaid, it's good that you got the caregiver to sign off that the $ 2800 is a "loan", otherwise it will look like gifting and penalize their Medicaid application. Once you move them into a secure place, then The house can be sold and depending on how much it sells for either used towards a spend-down on things they need (like prepaid funeral & burial policy, new eyeglasses & hearing aids, clothing better designed for living in a facility) if it's especially low value OR if the house is worth a lot of $ it enables them to have more options as to the type of facility to be in before they become impoverished and on Medicaid.
What happens if there is any kind of emergency? or bad weather conditions? or other unexpected situation? for them as your mom sounds like she is totally dependent on others. Dad is old as well and with his dementia he may not be able to really do what needs to happen in emergency situation. What then….
Review you POA with an attorney and determine the scope of your abilities.
I also will be taking this loan out of the caregiver's wages until paid...she signed a note to that effect.
I've do have possession of all checks, credit cards etc as I do all finances.
It seems that this issue is resolved and I appreciate this website so much! It's help me in so many ways in the past months...thanks to you ALL!!! love and peace
And, promises your folks make to people do not have to be kept. You are the gatekeeper. Judge what is legit and what is not.
Good luck to you. Two parents with dementia is a handful.
Thank you all for your guidance and assistance...love and peace
And you will have to return to court, or at least the lawyer will about every 6 months. You will need to keep detailed receipts as to how money was spent and for who. (You buy Dad a pair of shoes and Mom a blouse each has to be noted.)
I think you could recover the money "loaned" to the caregiver. This is Elder Abuse and you could press charges.
If you are going to obtain guardianship and have contact with the lawyer I suggest that you have them draft a letter to the "caregiver" and explain if the money is not returned charges will be brought against them for abuse. (If this is their job they will run the risk of loosing any further employment) I also suggest you find another caregiver.
One way I found 2 good (great) caregivers I contacted the local Community College. They have a CNA program and they also train EMS as well as a Pre-nursing program. I asked in an email to the director if she knew of any students that would want to do private care-giving. I got calls from about 4 people and the first 2 I talked to I hired.
If both are showing signs of dementia it might be time to look for Memory Care for both of them so that they can be together in a new environment together. Both will need more and more care and if one can not care for the other you will eventually have to get help 24/7
If funds are limited you might want to begin the application process for Medicaid. Even if they are turned down at this point at least getting the process started will make it easier in 6 months, 12 months or when ever it is necessary.
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