Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom puts on three to four pairs of depends on at a time at night after she goes to bed. She also will fold them back up and put them in her bathroom closet or her drawer. Any recommendations?
Mom may be fearful that she will leak through if she wears only one Depends. I’m not a big fan of Depends. I don’t think they’re that absorbent so Mom may have a point. Go online and find briefs made specifically for overnight wear. I’m sure Amazon has them.
If Mom does leak through, make sure she’s not drinking a lot in the afternoon and evening, especially coffee and tea.
Limit her access to the Depends. Put out one or two and put the package where she can’t access it. If she’s putting used ones away, supervise her more carefully and then just take the used ones and throw them in the trash where she can’t get to them. Replace them with dry ones and she probably won’t even notice.
Thank you so much for your help we are willing to try almost anything. My sister remembered when my father had Alzheimer he would put two sets of clothes on.
Probably worried about leaks. Have you considered getting puppy pads - those square absorbent sheets with plastic on one side and diaper-like materials on the other. You could call them her "super-Depends" for bedtime. Maybe she'll feel more comfortable this way.
Do not keep all the Depends in her room. We have them in connecting bedroom. Only give her a pair to go to bed. We keep a spare on the nightstand if she needs one. Our Mom thinks most times that she is changing by putting another one over the existing one. Just remember your Mom doesn’t realize what she is doing. That is your job.
Allow a single pull-up for placement, then put a couple of the flat incontinence sheets ( made by the same company that makes the pull-ups) under her on top of what is called a "draw sheet" ( a fan folded sheet that is lying across the fitted sheet on the mattress). Also, put a plastic cover on the mattress ( can buy these at Walmart) so that the mattress won't be ruined by leakage. My mom uses about 4 pull-ups per day, and I have a plastic cover on the mattress which my mom is glad about because not only will it protect the mattress from leakage, but it is also a protection against bed bugs since she is in a facility. You can also place a bedside commode next to the bed in case she isn't speedy in getting up to the bathroom. That will protect the carpeting, or prevent wet spots/slippery spots on the flooring which will prevent falls/broken hips.
If she is of sound mind, ask her why she uses so many. Fear of leakage or is this a dementia issue? Is she putting them back in the drawer because the outer pairs are still dry?
Bedside commode, if she can do it, would allow her to pee during the night without having to use so many. If she sleeps soundly while leaking or urinating, she may not get up to go.
You might get some incontinence pads (ones labled 'overnight') and put one of those inside the pullup to catch leakage and save on buying so many pullups. Best price on the overnight pads is Sam's, then Wmart.
My dad has done the same and similar things like putting a new one on then taking it off for a new one 30 minutes later. I have come home from work to find 4-5 in the trash can along with 2 of the baby pads (plastic backed) that I keep on his bed. They forget that it’s been done
My mom will do the same thing except the issue is pairs of socks. So we remedied the issue by taking out all of her socks from the sock drawer. It worked! So try putting depends out of reach. Good luck!
My mom will do the same thing except the issue is pairs of socks. So we remedied the issue by taking out all of her socks from the sock drawer. It worked! So try putting depends out of reach. Good luck!
A lot of people have given you good advice. Your mom is probably worried about leaking and making a mess on the bed. If you have special underwear that she is to use only at night, and keep the rest out of reach, maybe that would help. I have been looking high and low for years to find incontinence underwear that wouldn't leak overnight. Depends just doesn't do it (even the overnight ones). Finally, I found "Because" pullups, and they worked! Then the company made changes, and I'm back to square one. We tried "Tranquility" for the last 2 nights, and they didn't leak! I do put "Attends Booster Pads" (they look like feminine pads) inside the pants at night. I also put a protective bed pad under Mom at night. I buy the cloth, reusable ones. I think they're more comfortable. The bed pads are great because if she does leak through, you don't have to change the whole bed. They come in 3' by 3' sizes.
Limit how many she can get but she may be indicating that she is unsure that they will be enough so maybe a different brand 'for night use' - try to see if you can get them to be visually different
My dad was doing the same until I changed brands. We heard nothing but complaints with Depends - too scratchy, I don’t need diapers, you can hear them when I walk, the leg holes are too big, they show through my clothes, they smell, .....He was also packing a plastic urinal around in his walker pouch. His reasoning is definitely impaired. We switched him to Tranquility Brand. He was doing great with Tranquility Overnights but he gained a little weight and the next size up was too big, so we switched to Northshore overnights. Problem solved. He calls them throw away underwear. He’s comfy and dry and wears them during the day too. They do cost more but he doesn’t use as many now.
Change from depends to Tena super night pads which are worn with cotton pants like the underwear you get in the hospital. They hold more. They are more comfortable. They protect her skin. We switched after mom developed serious rash from the elastic on the depends between her legs 24/7. They are $18 online from Walmart. Life changing.
As for the behavior - my mom did it too. When she was well enough to have her own room I often found soiled depends in the back of a drawer or hidden in the closet. Having been in this journey awhile my best advice is too accept it for what it is - a dirty diaper. You can’t get her to stop or understand or likely even acknowledge she is doing it. It’s just one of many challenges on your journey.
I put a vinyl covered pad under the sheet and one of the throw away kind on top of the bed. Otherwise she would wear two pairs. Also put them in closet where she couldn't get to them after finding four pairs with the waistbands torn lying around on the floor. She still leaves dirty ones on floor, but at least she is not wasting the expensive underwear.
You've received some great advice here already, but I'd like to add one more comment/perspective. Depending on her age, your mother might have grown up during the Depression in the early 1930's. Like my mother (who is now 94), she probably remembers a time when EVERYTHING was hard to come by, and many people had to make do with whatever they had. Today, we are not as frugal, but in those days, a person perhaps re-used many items! I have a VERY DIFFICULT TIME getting my mother to spend money, even though she and I are now both very financially comfortable. I want my mother to have every single convenience, even luxury, that I can give her (or that she can enjoy giving herself!), but those memories die very hard. Perhaps your mom is going through the same thing!
This is similar to anyone who went through The Great Depression. They are savers - yes - even Depends because their mindset is that they may not be able to get another box/carton. My mother saved tiny slivers of soap and socks wer NEVER thrown out.
Joann fabrics sells a waterproof fabric, buy enough to stretch across the bed under the sheet and tuck under the mattress. Also look for special night time diapers. My Mom also puts incontinence pads inside her Depends, takes care of light leakage and saves replacing the entire diaper.
I use a CVS brand overnight underwear with leak barrier cuffs. Ultimate absorbency, absorbs 8X its weight. I use a protective cloth pad under my mother. Some nights I double up depending on her fluid intake. This works for us.
I keep the stock of Depends somewhere other than the bathroom, and then put only one in a bin in the bathroom at a time. I also have labeled the bin with a message that reassures her that they will be restocked as needed to alleviate anxiety on her part, and it says to put the used one in the garbage. I've also labeled the garbage can. If she's embarrassed about the soiled Depends (my mother is) you might find that she's more willing to throw them away if there's a supply of used plastic shopping bags she can wrap them in before throwing them in the garbage. An additional sign at eye-height directly across from where she's seated on the toilet might help as well if the arrangement of your bathroom makes it feasible. Good luck!
There are some great tips and suggestions here. My mother is using Depends but she has diarrhea (she abused laxatives all her life and now she can't hold anything). I don't know how but she manages to mess down the right side of the toilet (lid and outer bowl). I'm cleaning the toilet and floor 3 to 4 times a day, keep disinfectant wipes by the toilet, etc.
I looked up some of the adult diaper suggestions but the ads indicated they are for urinary leaks. Any suggestions with the other? Thanks
Has your mother seen a doctor for the chronic loose stools? There may be some medication she could take. Unfortunately, I’ve never heard of an adult incontinence underwear that can contain feces, especially with a diarrhea consistency. This sort of stool is just heavier than urine and diapers just aren’t created to contain it. Even if you used plastic pants, then you’d need to dunk and wash those out. It’s a sad, no win situation. The last time my husband had diarrhea, I just used disposable bed pads under him, then bundled them up and threw them away.
Thanks for the suggestions regarding medication. She has a doctor's appointment next week and hopefully we can get some answers/solutions/medication for her issue. Much appreciated.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If Mom does leak through, make sure she’s not drinking a lot in the afternoon and evening, especially coffee and tea.
Limit her access to the Depends. Put out one or two and put the package where she can’t access it. If she’s putting used ones away, supervise her more carefully and then just take the used ones and throw them in the trash where she can’t get to them. Replace them with dry ones and she probably won’t even notice.
Bedside commode, if she can do it, would allow her to pee during the night without having to use so many. If she sleeps soundly while leaking or urinating, she may not get up to go.
You might get some incontinence pads (ones labled 'overnight') and put one of those inside the pullup to catch leakage and save on buying so many pullups. Best price on the overnight pads is Sam's, then Wmart.
Good luck!
Good luck!
As for the behavior - my mom did it too. When she was well enough to have her own room I often found soiled depends in the back of a drawer or hidden in the closet. Having been in this journey awhile my best advice is too accept it for what it is - a dirty diaper. You can’t get her to stop or understand or likely even acknowledge she is doing it. It’s just one of many challenges on your journey.
Best of luck.
I looked up some of the adult diaper suggestions but the ads indicated they are for urinary leaks. Any suggestions with the other? Thanks