Hi. My mother has resided in a nursing home for 3 months now. It is a very good and highly rated facility, and we her family trust and have confidence in the staff. I and my siblings visit her regularly, at least 2 times a week, often more. My aunt (our mom's sister) seems to think that a family member should be with our mom almost every waking moment, i.e., that a family member should be with her for every meal, and to sit with her to watch TV in the evenings until bedtime. I think this may be excessive and wonder if we may even be annoying the staff. I guess my question is: Can family visits be TOO much?
And if she's not willing to do that, then tell her to shut up and mind her own business.
Your mom needs time to herself and also to mingle with the other folks there.
Who in their right mind want to be around their family all the time? Certainly not me!
I once lived in a small town with a small hospital, and the locals always made sure lots of family members were in the room with the sick relative. The noise and traffic and crying and carrying on were a trial and tribulation for the afflicted person's roommate or others in the hospital who wanted to rest or sleep.
Visiting is overrated. It's one of those things that should be kept short and simple, keeping the best interest of the patient in mind.
It's amusing how people, such as your aunt, can make suggestions to others to do things they themselves would never do. When your aunt makes such suggestions, don't engage or try to explain why this would be impossible. Simply say something mundane like "Thank you for your concern" and change the subject.
Visiting twice a week is enough and perhaps more than enough. Are you right down the street or hours away? There are no hard and fast rules, but it is important to keep a regular presence to insure she is receiving good care, which it sounds like you're already doing.
Would be extremely unfair to a roommate. (If she has one.)
We get family visits to my LO, who has dementia, and our visitors will ramble on and on about other family members and their travels and their kids and their jobs and their new houses. LO does not remember any of them - not a one. Lots of polite nodding and smiling, but absolutely no connection. But hey, they did their family duty and visited! If only they'd stay home so I could have a nap..... :-(
You are OK. If you aren't already doing this now, have you and siblings visit on different days. And it does not have to be for more than an hour. Your Aunt, ignore her. I had one like that. We were never nasty to her but none of the nieces and nephews liked her. We just ignored her. Like said, tell her she can do what she likes.