I live 1500 miles away; Dad will not move here; we can't/won't move there. I fly there 4 times a year. Dad didn't save and doesn't have long-term insurance. I am in process of filing for VA benefits but even that won't be enough for a 93 yr old to stay home. His sister and several nieces and nephews live in the area. He has great neighbors and free help from a friend with his bills. He is mentally capable; just not physically. He demanded to leave Assisted living. He has mobility and toileting issues. Money is the key and neither he nor my husband and I have enough We have no children and need to save for our old age (I'm 58 he's 63) . I haven't worked for month this time around having come here to help Dad again. He can only afford about 6 hours a day help at most, yet makes too much to qualify as poor. Louisiana has fewer resources than other places. He and Mom reverse mortgaged the home years ago and there's nothing left. I feel my situation is pretty hopeless until he dies. Doctors say his vitals are all okay. It's the hip replacement gone wrong years ago and the torn rotator cuff that won't heal and lack of money are the problem. Sometimes I feel I'm alone in this but I know there must be someone out there....
Get him a life alert necklace. The newer, fancy ones have a sensor that senses when a person goes down but I've seen them malfunction and would suggest a run of the mill button that your dad would wear around his neck and press if he falls.
You're not all alone. Ask for help. The sister. The nieces and nephews. Call a nursing agency. The neighbor. You just have to get organized and see what you have to work with. Good luck!
Earlier posts have suggested ways to cover your father with an aide for one shift and rely on Life Alert for the other two shifts a day. This may work for awhile but being 93 yrs old, his mobility at best will stabilize but then it will decline. I would see if you can get him into a decent medicaid nursing home. Some states have veteran homes which are nursing homes --they tend to render better care than the for profit nursing homes. They are there to accept veterans with little or no income.
Lastly, at 93 years old your father will not live much longer. Therefore, if you had a good father daughter relationship, you are his only child. You are his connection with life on Earth. You both need time to see each other in the twilight of his life.
Given his lack of funds, I think the best medicaid or veteran home in his area is best for him. If his mind is good, call him every day or so to check on him and chit chat. You are likely the center of his world at 93. Once he is safe, the stress on you and him will be reduced. Try to visit him as frequently as your job and finances permit. Someone will need to become his advocate as decisions (one after another) will be needed. Even when everything is set up, his condition will evolve and he needs a health and financial advocate to see he gets the programs and treatments best for him in light of his age. At 93 it is all about helping him to maintain the best health he can. I would investigate being his health care directive person and power of attorney.
Good Luck.
Louisiana Medicaid also has several waiver programs that your dad may qualify for even though his income exceeds the usual medicaid guidelines.
The Louisiana Department of Veteran's Affairs has five VA homes scattered throughout the state. Since you are applying for VA benefits please check out the Veterans Assistance section under Money and Legal on this website as well as the VA.gov website. There are a lot of different types of benefits and you want to be sure you apply in such a way to gain the maximum benefit for your father.
Elder Resource Benefits Consulting
Almost right after she died, I got a notice of a job opening in my specialty back in Pgh...as if I hadn't already had enough doubts about what I'd decided!!!
I guess what I am trying to say is, it is tough to decide, but I'd vote for bringing Dad closer when and only when he really can't live independently or with whatever help he can get in his own home. Being mentally OK makes a huge difference in that regard. Just keep that travel bag handy.
One resource might be www.veteransaidbenefit.org. They're dedicated to assisting senior vets and their families understand what benefits are available to them. They should be able to help you with questions about guardianship too - VA has its own requirements, separate from county/state. It really helps to have someone knowledgeable about VA working with you. And sometimes that means looking a bit. But hopefully this organization can help you.