My 93-year-old mother has Alzheimer's and aggressive behavior. She previously spent a month in a psyche center to get her med's under control. They finally found med's to help her, so she is less anxious during the day and no longer violent, although she is also lethargic from the drugs. Unfortunately, she is still not sleeping at night and is disturbing the other residents. The Memory Care center where she lives wants to keep her so drugged at night that she is a zombie during the day and cannot even hold her head up. I don't want her to be this drugged during the day, so the facility is giving up on her after trying everything else (melatonin, moving her bed next to a wall because she says she is falling out of bed even though she is not, weighted blanket, etc.) and they want her out. They told me that they are not sure any other facility will take Mom. I am not sure where to go from here. Does anyone else have any ideas on what the next step is for us? Does skilled nursing take care of patients like this? I am at a loss.
I have thought about having Mom see a geriatric doctor outside the facility, but had not thought about a neurologist. Is this something that a lot of Alzheimer patients need to do?
Right now, I think Mom is going to be given the heave-ho and told she is no longer welcomed there, and I need to find something else for her.
Also, some residents don't have involved family members who want to be kept in the loop, or there are HIPPA issues/lack of POA, etc., so it's not automatic for the doctors to communicate with family the way it would be if you were going with your mother to an appointment.
The staff should definitely give you an email or phone number at which you can talk with whichever doctor(s) sees your mother so you can find out from him or her whether they're aware of the nighttime issues. It's possible that your mother hasn't been seen by a doctor since this issue arose, or that the doctor did prescribe the meds but hasn't been made aware of the excessive effects, and could change the dosage or the medication. Based on what you learn from them you can be better informed when you get her an outside appointment. But more immediately, this doctor might be able to adjust the meds to be more effective and appropriate for her, and resolve the issue so you don't have to find a new place.
I did contact another facility today called Silverado that specializes in Memory Care only. I think there are several of these facilities across the US. They have a different approach to treatment. They are also the most expensive. The staff member I talked with today was so kind and helpful, I could have cried. I briefly explained the situation and asked what they would do differently and she explained some of the methods they use. Redirection is one of those things. She said, "we find out what they are anxious about and comfort them, and redirect them." This is what I think is missing where Mom is now. One staff member who complained to me recently about Mom not sleeping at night, said Mom was yelling that there were spiders in her room, and the staff member said the night staff "actually had to pretend they were stomping spiders!!" I thought what's wrong with that? If Mom thought she saw spiders, just pretend you killed them. No big deal.
When I asked the new place I called today what would happen if Mom went there, but she did not improve and continued to wake up anxiously calling for help at night, disturbing other residents, this woman told me that they "don't give up on people with dementia" and that they "meet them where they are." It almost sounded too good to be true. Has anyone else ever heard of Silverado Memory Care?