My mother refuses ANY help in helping her remove soiled pads and clothing. We pull down, she pulls up. She REFUSES to take a shower as well...for shower time, we have tried soothing tactics, bribery, even offered to get into shower with her (me clothed) and now thinking about a small kiddy pool just to get her in the water that way.. she is very modest and needs to cover up, which we always try to accommodate by holding a towel so she can unrobe herself..but she refuses to get into shower. We have attempted bird baths as well, she fights us to the end! The whole staff at board and care home are at their wits-end in trying to figure out what tactics might work and throughout the day attempt numerous times. to get her to bath. We are now concerned about UTI’s & hygiene. We are on a goal of at least 1 shower per week. This is a new environment for her as she was (2 months) ago placed. Otherwise, she seems well adjusted to her new home. Prior to her move, she had NEVER been incontinent, or had soiled underwear. We had been, though, struggling with bath time even then. I knew eventually incontinence would be inevitable, but not to that extreme from one day to next. Staff has put-up a bathroom sign with arrows so she can find it easier. They also frequently remind her to go the bathroom. The Alzheimer’s store has a house-coat with a zipper in the private area, making it easier for caregivers to access, without having to take bottom clothing off. I might try that. Any suggestions, would be appreciated. Thank you.
I don't know at what stage your mother's dementia is and whether she can think: "If I do this, I can have that." Maybe brides would work with her? Is there anything she likes that you can use as an incentive for taking showers?
Normally, how does she spend her time?
Bath time, how are they set up? Is the shower a walk in? Is there a shower chair and a hand held shower head? And, the bathroom needs to be warm. I would sit my Mom on the shower chair. She would wash her face then I would spray her down. Suds her up and spray her down. Now Mom would lean forward for me to wash her hair. I had a towel close by to wrap around her head. They don't like water in the face. Just like small children, they don't like showers. To get to private parts I would have Mom stand with her back to me, holding onto the bar and spread her legs. I would not use soap just use the handheld shower head to clean there. While living with me she had no UTIs. I helped Mom with her toileting so always used Huggies wipes to make sure she was clean. If it wasn't bath day, I still would clean under her arms and use deoderant before I dressed her.
My daughter worked for rehabs/nursing homes for 20 years. She says the best way to get a patient to do something they say no to is make them think they made the decision. Ex: Mrs A time for a shower, Mrs A says she doesn't want one. Then my daughter would say "But Mrs. A wouldn't you like to be all clean, smelly good and in fresh clothes" Then Mrs A says yes and goes for her shower.
With me, I never asked my Mom I just did it. Time for a bath, time to get dressed. Aides tend to ask, problem is the answer is usually NO. I'd say " time for a bath" and start walking her to her bathroom. But my Mom was easy that way.