Dad passed away last August left my oldest sister as POA. We are currently paying 4000- a month. Now we have put the house on the market to cover moms expenses. The house has been on the market for four months now. We have lowered the sales price by 100,000. And no bites. Now my sister wants to turn off all the utilities and keep it on the market, vacant. I am trying to figure out if I could possibly cover the utilities , I'm on disability and am bringing in 650- a month. I don't know if I can afford them, my sister told me that the utilities run about four hundred a month. I don't have my own place, I'm living in my parents house because my dad asked me to stay and take care of my mom. Well, much to our surprise, dad passed away first. My sisters are trying to do what's best for mom, but what happens when her money runs out? We know that we can't afford to keep,the house and what ever it sells for will go towards her ALF. But, she's eighty three , my sisters MIL just passed and she lived by her self til she was 94. What do,we do when her money runs out? Everyone I've talked to says to close down the house would be stupid, showing the house with out lights? What do you recommend , any answer would be greatly appreciative Lisa luv
And when you get back to Orange County, look for a job, even if it is part-time. You're on disability - can you work at all? Can you stay with one of your children temporarily? Or a cousin or friend? Couch surf if you have to. Get back to where you want to be and then start to put the pieces into place to rebuild your life. That's what I'd try to do.
It sounds like you want to stay in your parents' home and take care of your mom, but based on the fact that your sister has POA and has placed mom in a facility, that ship has sailed. Now you need to take care of your own future and you want that to be back in Orange County.
Downsize ASAP, for example - my relative has a 5 bedroom 2 story house, I live is a nice 1 bedroom apartment - her electric bill is $300/month, mine is $60.
It is difficult and emotional to let go of a family home, it is difficult to change neighborhoods, is that is needed, but if you cannot afford the home and it is too large for you it is time to move to something that will lessen the stress for you and your finances.
Did you and your sister decide the original price of the house or did the Realtor show you comps of other sales and active listings in your area? Curious how the house was overpriced by $100k... sadly an overpriced house becomes "old" and other Realtors usually by pass it. Suggest if possible taking the house off the market for awhile, and if you can wait go for the spring market. Or how about renting out the house? I see you are near a military base, rentals might be good for those who live short-term in an area.
But I have the same questions and concerns that others have expressed. If you were living in your parents' house and taking care of your Mom, why was she moved to assisted living? What was the plan for the house? What was the plan for you?
It's hard to know what to say without knowing how much the house might be worth, whether there's a mortgage on it, how much of the cost of AL your Mom's income will cover and how much will have to come from the house proceeds. I do agree with you that your mother could live a long time. Of course, maybe she'll be eligible for Medicaid by the time her money runs out, and maybe she'll need to be in a nursing home by that time too, even if she is still alive.
But that doesn't solve your need for a place to live. For the time being while the house is on the market, would your sister be willing to let you pay part of the utilities and use your mother's money for the rest, on the grounds that having the lights on will improve the chances of selling the house and getting a good price for it?
Let your sisters do their best for Mom. You focus on your own situation.
Are you wanting to stay in your folks' home and take care of your mom instead of having her move into assisted living? Is that your ideal situation? What I'm worried about long-term is YOU and what will happen to you. You need to be thinking of your own long-term plan for the future. You're only getting $650 a month in disability? Staying at your mom's place is a short-term option, whether she stays or not.
What will happen when your mom goes, particularly if she's used her money for her own care. What's your long-term plan? I think we need to help you figure that one out. How old are you?
If your sister just lowered the home price by $100,000, she's either delusional or got the worst real estate advice in the history of the world. How on EARTH did mom's home get on the market $100,000 or more over-priced?? What a complete waste of four months and the prime selling season.
Generally, a home will get higher offers if it's lived in. The exception to that would be if the house is kept dirty and messy by the people living in it or if they make the property difficult to show.
You say you can't afford $400. How about $150 and try to conserve utilities? As for your circumstance, sooner or later you are going to have to move. What have you done to investigate your options...or have you done nothing over the last four months to plan your future? You need to come to grips with what's happening.
As for what to do when mom's money runs out...perhaps someone in the family can advance money based on the value of the home. Or your family can look at the possibility of putting a mortgage on it. What makes more sense than anything, though, is to put a realistic price on the home and get it sold pronto.
Yes, extremely stressful!
It sounds as if your POA sister has a good grip on your mother's financial affairs, which is good news for you too because you all want your mother to be okay; but who's looking out for you? Do have anyone who can advise you about moving on from your parents' home? It would be sensible to start thinking about that now, because what if you all get lucky and a buyer walks in tomorrow? I'm in limbo myself on this subject, I know how horribly stressful it is. Hope you get some good answers, I'm sure others will be along in a little while.
And I'm sorry for your loss, too. Sad to say, the fit and healthy spouse often does seem to be the one who goes first; and it often is a huge shock. Please let us know how you're coping, best of luck.
Are there any public assistance programs through the utility provider that would pay the utilities since you are disabled?
What happens to you when the house is sold?