Use FORCE to take her to a nursing home? 911? Rescue squad? She DOES not want to leave home, will fight and turn against someone that loves her and want the best for her. CANNOT get home help, LOVE HER, but no longer able to help her at home.???????????????
There really is no good answer here. If the state is made guardian they will place her, but at that point you will have no say about where she is placed or what fiduciary manages her assets or how they are managed.
Are you alone in being responsible or are there other siblings nearby.
Wishing you luck, hoping you will update. Sometimes there are no answers until an elder does eventually and INEVITABLY come to grief from being alone and having an accident. We have even seen cases on Forum where a child tried with all her might to get help and her mom died in the home without help. It is very sad and tough. Again, I am so sorry.
Without guardianship, no one can legally force her to do anything at all. Elder abuse laws protect seniors from abuse but also prevent loved ones from doing things the senior doesn’t want but are obviously in the senior’s best interest.
I had to lie to my dad to make him move out of my apartment and into a care facility. It was for his own good so I don’t feel at all bad about it.
"I am caring for my wife Alice, who is 81 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, urinary tract infection, and vision problems."
Does she have a medical diagnosis of dementia from her physician? If so, this is helpful. Are you her PoA? If so and she has a diagnosis of dementia then you can legally act to transition her to a facility but will need to work with that facility to get her there without a struggle.
If she doesn't have an actual diagnosis and you are not her PoA, then if she threatens to physically harm you (or actually does it) then call 911. They will most likely remove her from your premises to a hospital. At that point you can tell the hospital she is an "unsafe discharge" and that you are not able to care for her. If you are not her PoA then either you or the county will need to acquire guardianship in order to manage her medical and financial affairs.