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I've seen others on here who have been cut off from a dying parent. But not one that is in hospice at home. My husband and his siblings have been denied access to their father by his wife because she hates them. He is no longer able to intervene and she has complete control over him & his environment. I've read that people are saying that just because she is his wife, poa and probably health advocate that she can't legally prevent them from visiting him. But because he is in their house... she doesn't have to let them in her house. At first they all three tried to appease her but it was clear she never intended to give permission to see him. I don't know how to help them. It seemed they had no legal means in they situation and while the father is in Florida, they all live on the west coast. They won't know when he passes, they won't be able to attend the funeral. They won't know where he is buried or if he's being buried. She's a spiteful monster... they've all been telling me for the last 20 years. I thought they exaggerated but my husband put it on speaker the last phone call where he tried to tell her whatever she wanted to hear... I was shocked at the pure hate and venom spewing from that woman. I'm just trying to figure out if its worth trying going to a lawyer or not. Maybe there isn't time for legal procedures? I just don't know.

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I would start with their County APS because wife or not she is infringing on her husbands rights to have his children with him. Really, there has to be some mental problem here. If APS can't help, then I would try a lawyer.
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I think your husband and his siblings can consult with an attorney in the state where your father resides. This attorney can probably quickly assess whether they have a case and how long it would take. Also he and his siblings will need to decide what it is they want the outcome to be: one-time access to say goodbye? Unlimited visits until he passes? Moving him to a neutral location for hospice until he passes? Something else? His wife can probably drag her feet and delay things while your husband & sibs are drained by legal fees.
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PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!PLEASE!!! READ THIS AND ACT UPON IT!!! IF WE DONT STAND UP FOR OUR LOVED ONES NOW, WE COULD BE NEXT!!!
PAJAMS LAW!!!
ANYTIME YOU SPEAK OR WRITE TO ANYONE, REGARDING POWER OF ATTORNEY (POA) MAKE SURE YOU UTTER THOSE TWO WORDS SOMEWHERE IN THE CONVERSATION, WHETHER IN PERSON, SOCIAL MEDIA, ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE!!!
I AM FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL TO CHANGE THE POA LAW AND IF YOU KNEW ME PERSONALLY, YOU WOULD HAVE FULL CONFIDENCE THAT I COULD, AND I WILL!!!

HOWEVER, I NEED THE PUBLICS HELP TO DO SO. THE MOST HORRIBLE, HEARTBREAKING AND DOWN RIGHT UNFORGIVABLE STORY OF MY, AS WE SPEAK, PRECIOUS, LOVING MOTHER (PAJAM) NICKNAME FROM HER LOVING DAUGHTER LYNETTE (ME)..!!
I WILL TELL YOU HER STORY. HER MOTHER WAS MURDERED IN THE LATE 1970's by a white female nurse while being cared for in a nursing facility that my mother and I frequented almost everyday. Part of the reason I became a registered nurse later in life, to care for the elderly. My mother fought tooth and nail and opened a nonprofit called "Texans for Improvement of Nursing Homes." My mother and my Godmother would walk into these facilities and have the most horrific (just like now) stories you have ever heard. They were named the "The Vigil Antes" from one of the most well know newscasters in Houston Texas. Channel 13 News "Marvin Zindler." She closed 5 facilities and moved up to the Senator in Austin Texas with the news media present as she carried that old tape recorder in a bag by her side with anyone and everyone's conversation recorded, Including the Senator. Funny part, she had this suction cup that she would place on the old phone receiver we had back then and the other part in the tape recorder and it would record the conversation. Pretty slick gal she was, huh? Back to the meeting in Austin with the Senator, him at one end of this big long table, her at the other end and of course the news media amongst others Oh...and that bag with the tape recorder in it on the floor right next to my mothers right side where she could easily take it out and push play, ha! So here we go, Senator speaks, mother calls him a liar, he denies, and here comes the tape recorder out of the bag and placed on the table with her index finger on play. Guessing you know what comes next? Yep that's right momma ask the Senator "Would you like for me to press play, so that the news media can here that you are a LIAR?" Well...needless to say, and it is a shame, because I know her will to fight for her mother, and the rest of the worlds loved ones would have carried on if my father would have let her continue. He did it out of love for my mother, because he was afraid they would kill her too if she kept on fighting. Her wish is never to be placed in a facility and she wont as long as I am alive, at least that is what I thought I had the right to do but not when your brother has POA over her ENTIRE LIFE/ PERIOD!!!
He lives and has lived with my mother since 2002, his choice, mom healthy, dad passed in 1995, suddenly, bless his heart 66 years old one day and gone the next!! She was left with a beautiful home on some gorgeous property located right on a nice major highway. My point worth some money!! Brother is a very good person, but set in his ways and goes by the rules. If MD says do it this way, he does! If nurse says do it this way he does! If Hospice says give her this medication he does! If I don't do what he thinks I am supposed to do I cant see my dear mother or will get a criminal trespass and not see my mother for 1.5 years, or be frisked by the police in my moms front driveway when I wanted to speak to my brother and told by the sheriffs dept that he has power over everything and even though this is my mothers house and her property both in her name guess what don't matter he has the power of attorney. Conclusion: all the above mentioned almost have her in her grave. Blind, bedridden with dementia and left alone at times. PLEASE SHARE THIS STORY AND "PAJAMS LAW."
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You know your husband's family's history and I don't, but my instinct would be to focus on helping them accept the situation with dignity and grace and find comfort that way.

Suppose they do get a good fierce (and quick) lawyer, and suppose the lawyer gets all the right bits of paper done today, and suppose they fly out to Florida armed with their rights and get to Dad's house in time - what then? Would it be worth it, the inevitable resulting ugly fracas? What are they going to say to him, let alone hear from him, in the time they have available that would make a positive difference?

Have they had much contact with him over those twenty years?
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