She won’t throw trash away in the trash can….instead she puts it on the pie safe by the front door to “remind me” we need these items. I have tried a magnetic write board on fridge…telling Alexa to add to shopping list….refusing to buy anymore….and putting the empty items in her chair so she has to deal with them before sitting down. Short of throwing them at her, what’s another option?
Is this how she has always compiled her grocery list, or is it new behaviour?
One of my first memories of my MIL, whom I have now known for nearly forty years, was of my shocked surprise at seeing in her beautiful kitchen ranks of empty cans and packets on the window sill. Granted she did at least rinse them out first, but her method was the exact equivalent of your mother's. I too wondered what was wrong with a list. She liked doing it her way, was the answer to that.
(It was also the first time I'd encountered butter so old that even in the refrigerator it had gone past rancid and was actually properly off. Ohmygoodness. But she never ate it herself and therefore didn't care.)
So. If this is your mother's house and this is how she has always done it - you'll just have to learn to like it.
If it's your house, and you therefore have a legitimate claim to insist on your rules, can you compromise by putting a leak-proof plastic crate on top of the pie box? I suppose whether this could be tolerated must also depend in part how often you do the shopping.
Instead of putting the trash in her chair(which I think is kind of mean actually)"so she has to deal with them before sitting down," why don't you just throw away what needs to be thrown away, and give your mom a break, as her brain is now broken, and logic doesn't live there anymore?
Perhaps it's time that you better educate yourself about Alzheimer's/dementia, as it will help you better understand what your mom is going through. Teepa Snow has some great videos on YouTube you can watch which are very informative, and the book The 36 Hour Day, is a great resource as well.
And of course, if caring for her is getting to be just too much for you, it may be time to look into placing her in the appropriate facility.
I really don't know what to tell you. You said in last post you do everything. Are you disabling her? For your sanity, just pick up the trash. Ignore what she does, maybe she is playing you.
If this is not working for you and she can afford it, find her a nice Assisted Living facility.
This particular behavior may not last long. It could be replaced by something different.
My mother now has a LIST of strange behaviors and “reasons” for doing them. What she SAYS may just be what comes out of her mouth. It may have no relationship to logic or reason at all.
Best wishes to you.
Do some reading, find some tricks that are at her level. Don't try to reason or argue with her cuz it probably won't work.
Good luck.