My mother has been in a memory care facility for about 7 weeks. Two weeks in I asked the nurse/director specific questions about how my mother was doing, updates, etc. He said "I'll spend some quality time with her next week and get back to you." He never did. He also mentioned that he and I should meet about her care, etc. I said "great, Mondays are best." Never heard back. I live 75 miles away but can make myself accessible. What do others receive from memory care -- weekly reports, monthly reports, phone calls, emails?? Also important is that my mother thinks I am a drug dealer and thief -- the last time I saw her she was very threatening and loud...I steer clear of her one-on-one, but still want to know what's going on with her.
I will say one thing (I helped 3 seniors through their Assisted Living days) --- The facilities are understaffed and overworked with a revolving door of staff. (My MIL's AL went through 3 Exec Dir and 4 nurses in a 2 year period!!! In view of the distance, try calling a week ahead of your next visit and state you will be there on XX day. Ask for an appointment time convenient to them and tell them what you want to cover. confirm with an email repeating your questions and the time/date. AND the business day before your meeting, confirm again. The staff spends most of their time putting out fires.
The only info we ever got on our 3 seniors was initiated by us. Nothing was ever volunteered. I actually got the best insight from the aides when I visited and asked how my senior was doing. They kind of told it like it was! Good luck.
I agree with Geewiz above, ask your Mother's Aide how is Mom doing. The Aides are more hands-on with the patient and the Aide only needs to remember the patients that are assigned to her. The Nurse or Admin may not be totally familiar with each and every patient until the patient has been there for a length of time.
There were no weekly or monthly reports, nor emails, too time consuming if a facility has 50 or 100 patients to watch over. The only phone calls from the facility were if my Dad had fallen, as it was a State law here to notify one family member of such falls, even minor.
Rest assured, this isn't the facilities first rodeo, they have had hundreds of patients pass through their doors, so they are familiar with all the different phases of memory loss. They know what to do. For my Dad, I just let the facility take care of him, and Dad never had one real complaint [I don't count the TV remote not working as a real complaint, it was always user error].
I do have weekly chats with the nurses too.
Yes talk to the aides who provide her direct care. They know what is going on with her daily. Although aides don't have the level of training a nurse has, aides are the backbone of care facilities. Hands on caregivers know their patients and are often the first to notice changes.
Welcome to the world of out-sight-out-of-mind medical care, Art. For sure there's no resemblance these days to last mid-century's town doctor calling you, or even knocking on your door for a bedridden sick patient. The bottom line wins again unfortunately, which sadly now puts the ball entirely in our court for all but the most critical status, with even that likely headed soon towards just a 140 character text msg if we're lucky. So as geewiz and others covered so well, don't plan on ever getting a routine feedback, in fact, it's probably best to not even ask for such regardless of your location (it'll just add a measure of unneeded guilt to any well intended but naive caregiver who eventually remembers they had forgotten to do as promised).
So when you want status on your loved one periodically for inability to visit often, Art, you'll have to do everything required each time to make sure you get it - just consider that as another of your contributions to the 21st Century care-giver team. :-)
For specific concerns or questions, I usually called or emailed the MC director. Just recently the second one has resigned. We were informed that her duties will now be split between 4 people (hmmm, which one would I contact?)
If this nurse/director cannot seem to respond to you, it calls for escalating this over his head. SOMEONE there should be able to discuss any questions or concerns or just provide some feedback on your mother's status. That said, I found out after-the-fact that shortly after entering the MC facility they ordered an anti-anxiety medication for her. This was NOT discussed with me, which did annoy me. In addition to consulting with me, this should have gone through the insurance pharmacy (cheaper!), not the one that provides bulk for institutions like this. I nipped that in the bud.
So, you do not mention it, but someone else did ask - do you have any POA of any kind, in particular Medical POA? If not, they can beg off discussions with you but they should be at least letting you know that! Even without POA, they should be able to say how she is doing in general, they just cannot discuss anything medical with you. If you do have POA, then by all means you should expect a response, and should rattle the cage until you get one (especially noting that you are not local.)
I would expect a MC place to do regular reviews, because level of care can change (which can increase costs too!) These most likely would be once or twice/year - as I noted, ours is at 6 months, because so much can change in that time frame! If you get no response from management, at least try calling the MC staff and asking about your mother. They are certainly more attuned to your mom, even after such a short stay so far, more so than someone who needs to "spend some quality time with her next week and get back to you." This is, to me, somewhat said for a nurse/director. He should have spent some time with her (or get reports from the staff!) here and there, enough to get a general sense of her well-being. I have run into some of the administrative staff who are "visiting" when I arrive and even THEY have some sense of our mother's progress although their jobs do not require even being in that area!
The one in Rosarito was run just like an American company. Reports were issued every 6 months. (I once got some other patients' report in with mom's pages. Oh HIPPA would have loved that).
Each time her eval came out she needed more and more care. This raised the monthly cost. We were privately paying.
We would visit once a week and talk to the nurse and aides about her condition. It was a small place so everybody knew everybody. Unfortunately the cost rose past her SS check and we had to find other arrangements.
This new place in Tijuana is much different and relaxed, while still adhering to the laws of Mexico for running a care facility. The owners are there 6 days a week and can tell us at any given moment about moms appetite, bathroom habits, sleep patterns and agitation levels. I don't have any complaints about the care, so I really don't need a formal meeting.
Since you live a ways away, you will need to have phone contact. Can you call the nurse's desk and ask to speak to the nurse or aide taking care of your mom?
Administrators don't know that much about patients anyway. Better to go right to the source.