My mother needs to be right and feels threatened when something happens where she is not in control. If I try to explain, she shuts me down. If I don’t say anything, she pouts. I can’t talk to her about anything except what she eats and what she’s wearing today. Anything else makes her emotionally charged and angry. Being with her is a chore. Should I just not engage at all? How long can I stand that kind of one-sided relationship?
I try to pretty much not engage. It's not fair that I have to be pretty much her main social support. She has other choices, but insists on living this way.
And yes, being with her is a chore!
However, that is no excuse for bad behavior. When one lives with one’s adult child, it’s a privilege and not a right. Unreasonable anger can signal a need for a doctor visit. So can pervasive anxiety and/or paranoia.
Let Mom initiate the conversations. I’ve found that food can be an obsessive topic of discussion. My bedridden husband, while eating breakfast, will ask for a complete rundown of meals and snacks for the rest of the day.
But always breathe in bad situations it allows you to keep calm