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My mother is 96. Until 18 months ago she was self-caring, with me helping with shopping, laundry and a daily cooked meal. 18 months ago she had a bout of illness and since which I’ve been sleeping on her sofa. I am her sole caregiver. My mother has CKD and AF. This past 5 months she’s become very confused and agitated. I first asked for a dementia assessment last November and feel I’ve been ignored. She’s been assessed by OT as on bed care as she’s unable to use a steady and is afraid of a hoist. In April SW was able to offer 2 caregivers for 4 visits a day, but I declined this as mum would need to be in bed and at the time my son and I were lifting mum into the chair etc. and I didn’t want her to become bed-bound before her time. As her circumstances have changed and she’s no longer able to weight bare I’ve requested reassessment.
The day care isn’t much of a problem. I am able to wash and change and position mum with use of a sliding sheet, but since May she has been experiencing sundowning and is shouting y name literally all night long. Around 7am this stops and she then sleeps throughout the day. She’s angry if I wake her, unless it’s for meals or drinks. There is no night care package and we are unable to afford private overnight care at £300 plus.
I am being offered daycare in form of 2 caregivers for 20mins 4 times a day, 7 days a week and also a sitting service for 3 hours twice a week.
I’ve had a total of 8 hours sleep over past 4 nights and feel exhausted. I can’t think straight and not sure where to turn.
GP not interested as Social care and not health related. Mum could be assessed for respite but I’m not sure I’d be able to pick up again.
Maybe I should add I’m 61 and a retired nurse.
Genuinely feel I’ve exhausted all avenues.
If anyone has any suggestions they’d be great fully received. TIA

This doesn't sound sustainable.
I think that you need to now consider LTC for your mother.
What do you think?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Your mum now needs to be in a managed care facility of some sort. Sounds like you're overseas, so not sure what your options are, but I would certainly start the search now, before it's you that's needing to placed in a facility because you've ruined your health from the stress and no sleep.
Your mum has had her life and I'm sure she wouldn't want you giving up yours for her if she were in her right mind.
I wish you well in finding the right facility for you mum.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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NettieBettie27, welcome to the forum. Just curious, when was the last time your Mom was tested for an Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)? Such an infection can cause all types of strange behaviors in an elder, can mimic dementia, and cause agitation. This infection can be treated with antibiotics. It's worth checking out.
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Reply to freqflyer
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