Anyone else shocked by Assisted Living? Why do all the residents look drugged?
My husband and I visited a few Assisted Living facilities (that will accept Medicaid) in hopes of finding a safe place for his mom. She is 65 y/o type 2 insulin dependent diabetic with stage 4 vascular dementia. I was very surprised by the horrible condition of the residents. First of all I saw absolutely no one under age 80. Secondly, all the residents were sitting in the lobby, hall, dining room etc... in wheelchairs with their heads hanging down just staring at the floor. They all looked drugged. None of the people I saw looked like they could even feed themselves. Third, the whole place had a nursing home feel. They didn't have apartments of their own, they were piled two people to a tiny room with no kitchen. The staff were completely ignoring the residents. The memory care "wing" was freakin terrifying. It was like a gated prison. When I asked how the memory care residents got out to go to activities or the dining room. She said "oh, they don't go out, they eat here" (pointing to the 15x15 beige room full of tables with a 12" tv up in the corner. And of course all the people were asleep, or staring at the wall. Is this what Assisted Living is supposed to be like? I always had this picture in my head of elderly people playing bingo, shuffle board, reading, knitting and doing water aerobics in the pool. I realize there are different stages of dementia and that my MIL will be In that condition one day but right now she's not. Where are all the people like her? Where do all the 40,50 & 60 somethings with physical or cognitive problems go? She can still take care of herself she just needs "assistance" with her meds twice a day, blood glucose testing and insulin injections 4 times a day, healthy meals on a set schedule and other people close to her age to interact with and repeat her stories to. Isn't that what assisted living should be?
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One huge obstacle here is your mother's age. My son needed rehab last year after a motorcycle accident. The rehab unit was in an assisted living facility. He was the youngest resident we saw there by 30 years! His saving grace was that he knew he would only be there for weeks, not the rest of his life. He struck up a few conversations with some of the older men, but mostly he enjoyed lots of visitors and relied a lot on electronic communications. Your mother will have the disadvantage of being among the youngest but without my son's resources to entertain himself. See if your state's agency on aging can offer any suggestions about places that may cater more to younger people, like your mom.
What you describe may be a very poor quality place. Maybe they do keep the residents over-medicated. Maybe they do neglect them.
But some aspects of your description are not that uncommon even in "good" places. Residents often sit in their wheelchairs in the common areas. This gives them a chance to interact with others occasionally, and it ensures that they are safely under the observation of staff. Some (many) of them doze off. It does not necessarily mean they are drugged. It is often the nature of their disease. I guess I'm saying it MAY not be as bad as it looks.
Most places -- nursing homes or assisted living -- have lots of activities available. But not usually around the clock. There may be two activities in the morning, one in the afternoon, and maybe one in the evening. And of course not all residents choose to attend them.
As for memory care -- that seems to vary widely from one facility to another. Your mother may never need that level of care. (It is mostly needed if the resident wanders, or has behavior that is disruptive to other residents.) Usually more than half the population in a general care center have dementia and they get along fine in a mixed population.
Keep looking for a care center suitable for your mother. Try to discover if there are any facilities that have younger populations.
Please remember, with a certain stage of dementia there comes delirium, and that only can be controlled by some type of calming medicine which will make one very sleepy.
The 4-star resort feel you thought about with Bingo and Shuffle board does exist but at a high price. Example, my Dad was very frugal his whole life, so it was easy for him to enter into such a place and have his own 4 room apartment. The building next to his is Assisted Living with the same 4-star feel where each tenant has their own studio apartment. Seeing this is an eye opener to save like crazy for your retirement and very senior years.
You have to remember that Medicaid is helping pay for a place for your Mom, and said monies come from Federal and State taxes. And each State is different on what it spends. I wouldn't mind having my taxes raised to make for better living arrangements for those on Medicaid, but not everyone would think the same.
The Assisted Living where I initially placed my cousin was quite nice and upscale. They had lots of activities, social director, a t.v. room, a living room, an activity room, 2 patios, a gazebo, two dining rooms, physical therapy, RN on duty in addition to med tech, great food, weekly trips and other things. It was pleasant and the residents had a great time socializing. I sat and visited with them enjoying the conversation often. (I was there daily due to my cousin.) If your MIL is able to function at a certain level, she may fit in with that kind of an environment, but if she isn't, it will become apparent that she needs more attention. Though this place was great, they could not provide my cousin what she needed. They expected more independence and not having to deal with her resistance to care. She resisted baths, meals and activities.
Secure Memory Care can also be a nice place. I toured two places. One was super upscale and looked like a luxury resort. Very spa like. I'm serious. It was super nice. It was pricey, but they told me they would soon be accepting Medicaid. They were just waiting on the paperwork to clear.( Most residents there were paying down in order to qualify for Medicaid.) I couldn't wait and chose the other place that had an immediate opening.
It's not fancy, but is super clean with trained staff who really take care of the residents. It's small and the staff knows the residents well. My cousin immediately did much better in the Memory Care facility. She doesn't notice if it's fancy. She gets nothing from frills anymore. She feels that she is cared for and I think that's why she always says she likes it there and that they treat her well.
I don't think the people you are seeing are drugged up, because it's illegal to restrain residents in long term care facilities with drugs, belts, or anything else. With dementia, eventually, the patient loses awareness, ability to walk, sit, talk or respond. They still need to be out of the bed if possible though. So, that's why those residents are sitting in a common room in wheelchairs and geri chairs.
I read a scholarly article about important factors in successful placements. The two things that rated highest were 1) ratio of RNs to patients. (Not general staff to patients) and 2) the activities program and ratio of activities staff to patient. I can believe this. If I had to place someone else, those are things I'd inquire about.
From then on we did much more background checking, researched on the Medicare site, toured facilities, and made better choices.
One I found for my father was, as his friends put it, like a 4 star hotel. And it really was, totally, absolutely the best. I even enjoyed going there, especially after they had all 4 pianos tuned so I could play for my father. The service was superb.
But it was in a community with a large teaching university and medical complex. The hospital and specialty hospital were much better as well.
Another AL facility was surprisingly enough in a more remote area, but it was affiliated with a large medical complex if I remember correctly, and it was more like a hotel as well.
If you have any Medilodge facilities near you, tour some of them. If they're like the one in Milford, Michigan, they're outstanding. I believe though that they're just for short term rehab.
The Milford one is decorated like a lodge - massive stone fireplace with comfy chairs scattered around for visitors and residents to enjoy a nice relaxing visit, multiple other areas, some like very small intimate theaters.
The chef had been with a 4 star upscale restaurant in a tony suburb and provided a menu almost comparable to a restaurant. The private dining rooms were beautiful. There was always a big coffee pot with free coffee for visitors, accompanied of course by the little containers of flavors so a guest had a choice of hazelnut, vanilla, etc.
The only things missing were pet and music therapy.
Another facility you might try if they're in your area are the Sunrise AL complexes. I was impressed with the architecture and amenities, but the food and menus were too upscale, and there was a group of sad faced people which turned me off in considering the place. But it did have a resident pet.
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