In addition, if you are in someone’s personal space and you need to maintain a professional manner of yourself however, most elderly folks are lonely, and they want someone to talk too, tell their stories to and someone to make them feel loved, and comforted, and at the same you have to act like a pro and not give a sh*t!
The next time I start to care for someone I will gladly let them know, I will not be texting with family members my entire visit. To check-in, sure but not the entire visit asking me if I’ve peeled the red pear, bc it’s going to go bad and you peel it, but the client gets mad at you bc they did not want it.
i love ❤️ being a caregiver, but some of the family members need to back it up a little.
am I wrong?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm not a 'professional' caregiver, but I'd been my mom's for a few years, until you came along. You absorbed the brunt of what my mom was becoming and became--ungrateful, even mean, and obstreperous. Not the mom I'd known for 60 years. I'm grateful to you more than I can say here. Thank you, all of you paid caregivers, for taking care of our parents.
" human condition " which is comprised of selfish individualism and control dynamics along with a long list of other family dynamic , interpersonal, emotional, spiritual factors all contribute to the challenges.
The nitty gritty of managing the household, such as preparing small meals, doing the personal laundry of my parents and so on was handled well by them. I would never have criticized if they didn't peel a piece of fruit!!! Or any other minor thing. Sometimes there were two on duty at the same time (for one parent, they didn't take care of both parents at once because one got sick and died, then the other got sick). The caregivers cooperated well. They arranged their hours so the job was covered. If I was coming over, I'd often offer to stop by a fast-food place and bring them a sandwich as well as one for my parent. We all ate together.
I rarely texted or called. They contacted me if help was needed.
Hire good people and let them do their jobs as they see fit. Make them your partner, not your subordinate. Always my philosophy as a business person.
Why did I hire the main live-in caregiver? I asked her why she was doing this work. She said she had always had a special place in her heart for old people. And she proved it many times over.
I was also, I fear one of those annoying texters about little details, that I later found out didn't matter at all (The red pear!), but luckily it was just me and not the rest of my family (because they dont do anything to help).
From the family perspective... If it's possible I would just tell them it's hard for you to text while you're there and you'll get back to them at the end of your shift with a report. And then say that texting multiple people distracts you from the client and if you could just have one person contact you.
As a family member, I understand you're annoyance. I think we micromanage the details because It makes us feel like we're doing something. If the chicken salad is perfect then they will be happy. But you're absolutely correct in your assessment that all they really want is love and comforted to talk about memories and to have someone listen. I have actually found it's better sometimes to have a stranger do that than myself as I'm so tired after years of taking care of my mother. So if you can do that and set boundaries kindly with the family so they know that you're there to not be distracted, That might work but I will say I totally understand where you're coming from and bless you whenever you can give an old person kindness and love and a listening ear. You are our angels.
You should remain being professional on your job.
If family members wish to tend to these trivial things about specific tasks such whether you peel a pear or not, then they should consider visiting and take care of the matter themselves.
Your first priority is to care for your client regarding the important issues. Just handle your client’s major concerns and disregard unnecessary issues.
I wish that all family members would show appreciation for the service they receive from caregivers.
I appreciated every minute of help that I received from my mother’s caregivers. I didn’t have around the clock help but it surely was nice to have a break when I did have help.
Later on mom did enter a hospice care home where she did receive full time care until she died. The staff was absolutely amazing. I will never forget how wonderful they were.
Mom appreciated the additional help from them. They were professional, yet very caring as they provided support for my mom.
As to the pear. Yeah. That's life, for sure. But I would say that's life whether dealing with your clients, your boss, your co-workers, you kids, your hubby, your friends, whatever. It kind of falls under "If it CAN go wrong it likely WILL go wrong" and hey, it it's only about pears and whether they are peeled or not???? It's all good!