Last weekend dad had me fooled that he was OK. Forgetful, sleepy, maybe shouldn't drive due to dizziness, but he's still working, his fridge is stocked, a little messy for him but cleaner than me... this weekend I decided to help him with his papers, found out he hasn't paid his bills in 2 months and isn't sure what he should pay, can't concentrate long enough to deal with the one bill I insisted he pay. We went out to the post office to mail it, and outside of his familiar context he was very confused. I need to file POA so I can straighten out his bills. More severe decisions can wait until after his doctor appointment. I'm staying with him until then. He sounds rational as long as the topic is narrow and no context is required. Is that "sound mind" enough to sign POA? (NY)
It wasn't, so this is where you are now.
You should see an attorney. This is not a case where you can pull papers off a computer and do this on your own. This attorney will "examine" your Dad to see if he understands. My brother decided to make me his POA and the Trustee of his trust when he was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's Dementia, but still in full control of his life, and knew what could be coming. We went together to his attorney and the attorney examined him ALONE, and with me in room saying "Do you trust your sister implicitly because you are giving her the power to sell the gold out of your teeth if she wishes to".
If your father cannot fully understand that he is giving over all financial and placement power to you, then you would need to forget about a POA; it is too late. You would need guardianship. If your father fought guardianship he would win (especially if he is "working".)
You are in a bad place. Step one is now to discuss with Dad. Does he want you to have full bill paying powers and to be on his accounts as his POA. If so, do YOU understand you are a legal fiduciary responsible for keeping meticulous files and records and are you willing to do all the work, all the mailings, all the filings, all the phone calls to all the entities? If so, go to a Lawyer together.
Do not go for an official diagnosis until POA is done, if it CAN be done.
I wish you good luck going forward.
Whatever's wrong might be an acute infection and once he's recovered he'll be mentally fine and able to create a POA with no issues. But at the moment, if he can't concentrate for long enough to deal with one little bill, it really doesn't sound as if he has the mental capacity to understand what he is doing in order to create a valid power of attorney.
In the meantime, you don't need to be a proxy to straighten out bills. Gather them, start charting or logging receipt, paid dates and amounts. If he's paying with a checking account, you can write the checks and have him sign them.
But if he's cognizant enough, you can also go to his bank with him and get new signature cards issued with both your names on the checking account. This has good and potentially bad repercussions, the bad being if his spending isn't rational, or if he's in debt.
It might help to do some background research on powers of attorney so you understand what the parameters really are.
If you can get POA, ask that it be immediate. That means as soon as Dad signs the paperwork, you have some control. Remember though, you are Dads representative and as such your decisions should be based on how Dad would handle it. Its a tool not so you can control him. The other type of POA is Springing which means its only in effect with a formal diagnosis from a Dr. POAs of this kind are always Durable. This means for life unless revolked by the person who assigned you. POA is revolked at time of death. You want financial and Medical. Pick a time of day he seems more lucid. Late afternoon and evening hrs they usually "sundown" making things more difficult.
Judges have nothing to do with DPOAs. That's between the person assigning DPOA and their lawyer. Guardianship goes before a judge and his ruling is determined by the doctors who have examined the person and shown that tests prove the presence of a Dementia and the person is now incompetent to handle their own affairs.