So I am not able to get my BIL placed in a ALF or Memory Care Unit closer to home because of some behavior problems. I believe isolating him from all his family is causing him some agitation. Nevertheless, the facilities that he has been in refused to help in any way to help him get closer to home.
When I call the administrator, she lies to me, has a bad attitude with me and does nothing that she tells me she will do. Also, a court has deemed my BIL to be incompetent, however, they let him sign himself into these facilities.
Sounds to me it is not all his fault what is going on. I was able to keep him some and he did not have behavior issues with me. ANY ADVICE? SUGGESTIONS?
Hailey, you say "isolating him from all his family." There's your DH, who is not fit at the moment (wishing him get well soon), and you, and who else?
You say "when I call the administrator" - which administrator is this? The one at the facility where he currently is?
If the court has not awarded guardianship to any person or organisation, in what circumstances did the court deem your BIL to be incompetent? What was the hearing about?
The thing is, where do you want your BIL to be placed and cared for? You need first to identify a facility that is able to meet his needs, then work with them to get him transferred. Any possible locations you can think of?
BIL just has niece's, nephew's and one other brother.
Yes, the administrator where he is currently at.
I have found places where I would LOVE for him to be placed (Locked down Memory Care Units) but they ALL have denied him because of behavior problems that are listed on his FL2 form.
I know they are saying he has behavior issues but they are not looking at his circumstances to see why he has behavior issues. They are not even considering the fact that his behaviors could be because he is isolated 4 hours away.
Usually, his behavior is due to being provoked.
What can I do? Thank you so very kindly for your feedback. You do not know how much it is appreciated.
Can you call the Ombudsman number, posted in the facility?
Are you the nearest relative with an interest in his welfare? Were you able to attend the competency hearing? Can it be appealed?
These memory care units you've shortlisted, how far did you get with the process? They took one look at his notes and spat out the form?
You'd need somebody with the right kind of authority and qualifications to advocate for him and demand a review. Your profile isn't set up for private messages, but if you're happy to share information about where you are and where he is we can see what we can find out, if you like.
Thank you so very very much for your response. I understand exactly what you are saying. Yes, I have went through several memory care units and as soon as they take a look at his notes, they say they can not take him.
I will definitely set my profile up so you and anyone else can help me. You make my heart so happy and I feel like crying with excitement. Thank you so very much. Bless you.
Here in Louisiana, cameras in nursing homes are allowed and legal. There are certain stipulations such as, cameras can only be pointed at the resident whose family wants it and not a roommate, which is understandable. A picture is worth a thousand words! Are cameras allowed? Is this something you would consider? Just asking? Not recommending anything. It’s your choice.
Four hours away is tough.
I do not have to have authority as long as it is for my BIL best interest. My husband is the nearest relative to my BIL. Therefore, that makes me the closest relative to him because my husband and I are as one. Thank you