My mother 85 is a victim of an online romance scam. She has lost thousands of dollars sending money to this “celebrity” that is in love with her. She has even driven to an airport late at night to meet this person who of course wasn’t there .. I have moved as much money as I can to keep it safe for her care. Banks, credit card companies etc are absolutely no help at all. I have POA but they refuse to honor it. She will not accept that this is not real and continues to talk to these horrible people. Someone turned her in to DHR but they are unable to help because her Dr said she is functioning fine. He obviously didn’t know about the scam. I’m open to ant advice anyone may have! Thank you!
As for not being able to get mom diagnosed, this is not uncommon. It takes a long time and some people have to get really bad before many of us here can even get there drivers license away from them. Doctors don't see what we see on an everyday basis. Cognitive decline, and poor decision making, can happen, years before the decline is bad enough to get a diagnosis.
So I'm not sure if there is really anything you can do here. Hopefully others have some suggestions
Now, what exactly do you mean that you have POA and the banks refuse to honor it.
Then you DO NOT HAVE POA. Either that, or your mother is not judged incompetent under the law.
I say over and over here that people need a GOOD POA done by a GOOD lawyer or banks will not recognize it. And well they should NOT. Because let us say you get a little odd in your old age? Does that give sonny the right to pull some document off the computer, have you sign it and have a notary attest you just signed?
No. It doesn't. A bank is there to protect your mothers money; that is what they are trying to do.
If this is a GOOD POA done by a legitimate attorney, and if your mother is diagnosed as incompetent under the law, then you need to have this done and taken care even if it requires bringing in the attorney. It is entirely ILLEGAL for a bank not to recognize a good POA.
With a good POA you can lock down credit (I did) and you can put yourself on all accounts as the ONLY signee (I did) and you can make your mother a small spending account of her own (I DID that for my brother.) You then register with all assets and entities your mother deals with and you handle all monies in and out and keep meticulous records as you do so. If needed you go to SS and get made the representative payee for your mother (again, she must be proved to be incompetent under the law).
This is how you handle this. Because unless you lock her in a jail with no computer you CANNOT stop her. She will find a way if she has to have a girlfriend drive her to the library to use their computers. The librarian will even "help her".
These scammers (read all about them on AARP archives, are skimming millions and millions and mostly from senior citizens. They are getting better and better and better at it.
So awful. I am so dreadfully sorry. But you and your POA documents are off now to the attorney. And if that doesn't work you will call APS and explain this, giving them attorney number, and proof of mom's payment to scammers. Then you are going to ask APS to assist you with EMERGENCY TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP.
And if your mother isn't incompetent? The money is as good as gone. Resign your POA (easily done with a letter if she is competent) and back away from her entirely. She will be giving all her money away and let her know after that she will be in state guardianship because you will be done with her.
You need to accept, if your mother is otherwise not demented, she has a right to give everything she has along with her firstborn to any scammer she wants to. THAT is the really awful thing. The banks may be indicating to you that you are lacking documents from MDs (two almost always) that says that she is incompetent under the law's definition. It that is so you are done. So is mom's money.
There is no protection from stupidity, whether it takes the form of being scammed or in any other way. The law is loathe to take a citizen's rights to handle their own money on their own. The law will not stop you from flushing it down the toilet unless you are ruining someone's plumbing. THAT'S likely a felony.
Again, I am so sorry. What a waste. How sad. If you do podcasts at all do listen to Scamfluencers. You won't believe it. Or maybe you will.