I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
I took a quiz on the internet, “What’s your spirit animal?”
I got: extinct.
I joined a dating site, for people my age…called carbon dating.
and I need the remote.
I can only be nice to one person
a day.
Today is not your day.
even the neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed.
It's OK if you don't like me.
Not everyone has good taste.
I hate those people who knock on your door and say you need to get "saved" or else you will "burn".
Stupid firemen.
Turns out I will tell an entire fully detailed story.
I try to make things idiot-proof. But they keep making better idiots.
The most common cause of stress nowadays is
daily contact with idiots.
The problem with stupidity is that it doesn’t always recognize itself.
I don't need an inspirational quote. I need a snack and a nap.
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.
I'm not talking to myself. I'm having a parent-teacher conference with my inner child.
The nicest thing about self-love is that it’s hardly ever unrequited.
You need to have a life. Have fun.
Then ruin it by having a serious relationship.
A man finds love and is satisfied.
A woman finds love and insists on turning it into happiness.
It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.
My neighbour told me that mediating for 40 minutes every morning has changed his life.
He’s late for work, he lost his job, his wife left him, huge changes.
Monday
That one cup in your house that’s somehow better than all the other cups.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I’m going to start letting people know what I’m thinking.
That should eliminate the weak.
Me: In my memories.
Me: Poverty.
If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with, “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”
You are enough.
We don’t need more of you.
People don’t want to hear your opinion.
They just want to hear their opinion coming out of your mouth.
Everyone is entitled
to my opinion.
Me: OMG thank you, what are they?