Follow
Share
Read More
5 6 7 8 9
It’s nuts, isn’t it? Years ago I worked in a specialist clinic associated with the Adventist system. When I started there, individual people were actually ‘seen’. Then, about 8 years in, a big management company took over and the whole system took a dive. It was awful to watch; worse to be part of. 2 years later I left that system never to return.

When I was diagnosed with cancer I paid out of network costs to see an oncologist I knew was ‘old-school’ and actually treated his patients as whole people. He retired early because the system would not allow him to provide primary care along with cancer care for his patients. He was the last of a dying breed.

This should probably be under a Whine!
(2)
Report

Psue - sounds like close to a big fat zero for the appointment. You wonder how much something like that costs the system, never mind what it costs you in time, effort and money. I am sure the pacemaker co would contact you if something was off.

Enjoy the plateau. Though the waiting for the next shoe to drop is hard. Hopefully the neuropsych appointment will be useful/enlightening.

For me the quote especially applies to family members. 🙄
(0)
Report

Oh Golden, I really like that! Most of the time I don’t mind being misunderstood but once in awhile I get caught off guard, especially if it’s with a family member.

Cardiology appointment was pretty worthless. This is a new doctor - DH’s previous cardiologist left the system so we needed to start all over again. Apparently there hasn’t been any change in his level of heart failure because follow-up is in one year. DH was taken off one blood thinner which I appreciate. The tech required to check his pacemaker/defibrillator canceled at the last minute so I have no idea if things are stable there. It is monitored, so I assume the company would contact me if there was a problem. Thank you for asking!

Onward to neuro-psyche next month. Things have plateaued around here, which is nice, but as always I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop.
(1)
Report

Found this bit of wisdom this morning and it resonated with me. - posted by Laddie Mae f/b

"I don't have the energy to debate. I'm at at peace with being misunderstood."

Oh, boy, am I!!!!

Psue - how did the cardiology appointment go?
(0)
Report

Nacy, Its cardiology this time so I won’t know anything until tomorrow. Sweet of you to ask!
Neuro-psyche is next month.
(2)
Report

Same thing happened to DH and me. We were very close with a couple for several years. We went through some very difficult times together and our friends dealt with it all by becoming involved in an evangelical church. It helped them immensely and we were so happy for them. Unfortunately for us, it also taught them that with every encounter, they had not only an opportunity but a duty to try to bring us into the flock. We told them how we felt and asked to be allowed to just observe the positive changes their beliefs had made in their lives but their belief that they would not be good Christians if they did not push was foremost, and we drifted apart. It was sad but they didn’t see that they were being disrespectful even when we pointed it out.
I want to know what people believe because their beliefs make them who they are. But I can love who they are without believing the same things they do.
(2)
Report

In my previous neighborhood I was 1 of 5 women who, somehow, ended up very close over 25 years. We were like pearls on a string of political beliefs from extremely conservative to extremely liberal, also from traditionally religious, to atheist. Really, we were different in every possible way except gender and proximity. It is miraculous that we ended up together and how much we learned from each other. We enriched each other’s lives in so many ways.

I’m not saying there weren’t rough patches and I have no doubt the string would have broken if we hadn’t been able to see beyond (not ignore) our political or religious beliefs. But we learned to give ourselves and each other grace. None of us would be who we are if hadn't learned to embrace each other as whole people rather than put each other in ideological boxes.

A person who shows their beliefs to you is just showing you a part of themself. A person who tries to force their beliefs onto you is not showing respect for who you are. You have to be able to distinguish the difference. The first is a friend; the second is just a person that is easy to walk, or scroll, away from.
(0)
Report

If you’re truly interested in people, you’re interested in politics and religion. Neither of those things make a person more or less interesting if you look at the world with a macro view. Evangelism of any belief can be annoying if you don’t share it but it really isn’t threatening. My DH absolutely must have pineapple on his pizza and I absolutely will not eat raw tomato on mine but somehow we’re still together.
(1)
Report

No politics please, it's too triggering for many people.
(6)
Report

After a week away from FB, I found out that a FB friend removed me because of the Election Day post I made right after the first polls closed. Apparently, telling people to pray for the country regardless of who won and to stay off of social media was apparently triggering enough for her to unfriend me.

And when it comes to political activity on FB, 2024 as a whole has been the most quiet I've been on there since early in college and for the few political posts I've shared on my page, I fixed it to where she was among those who didn't see any of them to avoid trouble. And I never once went after her for her beliefs.

Btw, she was involved with campus ministry up until a few years ago.
(2)
Report

Glad: Thanks for letting us know the sad news of Jeanne's passing. Good to see you.
(1)
Report

I'm sorry to hear that😔
(2)
Report

Jeanne was a major contributor here. I knew she had a stroke a few years ago.
(2)
Report

Thanks, Glad. Happy to see you here. Barb let us know the sad news as well.
(3)
Report

Long time contributor to our group, Jeanne has passed last night.
(5)
Report

The Pogo scrabble game that I like to waste time with isn't loading on either of my browsers, that leaves me with just the Microsoft Solitaire suite.

Pop ups and ads are for people who don't know how to block those things (although admittedly doing so on a phone is much more complicated than on a PC)
(2)
Report

I do facebook and avoid news as well. My facebook is images like scenery that I post, some art, funny quotes, photography I like and a little I/we do, animals...You can set it up as you want it to be. Re news, I figure if it is that earth shaking I'll hear about it anyway from R. He follows it but he is an optimistic person so it doesn't get him down much. He has other things to think about like pastures for the colts.

My "third place" would be anywhere in the condo buildings outside of our unit - in the elevator, getting the mail, walking in the parkade, doing the jigsaw in the second floor lounge. People are friendly but not intrusive. I don't need a lot of company.

Alva, sorry you took a tumble. Hope you heal soon.
(3)
Report

Oh, the third place.
How did I not know that?
My dH knew it.

News:
I sometimes rely on my friends to inform me of important news.
Otherwise, I am busy with ADL's.
(1)
Report

Now you REALLY have my sympathy. I avoid news like the plague. Quite honestly it has zero to do with my life as I live it unless a quake is here.
N. loves news and is a true junky and to tell you the truth it simply is NOT making him happier in his dotage.
(5)
Report

The "third place" is a thing in sociology Send, home and work are the first and second place, the third place encompasses the place "where you relax in public, where you encounter familiar faces and make new acquaintances" (wikipedia)

I'm a news junkie and I think I'm going to have to totally eliminate that from my life and live in wilful, blissful ignorance if I want to survive.
Oh I'm just coming back to add - things don't have to be overt and in your face to be toxic, just the constant repetition of gloom and doom negativity can be poisonous.
(5)
Report

cwillie:
I do facebook but honestly I don't do anything that is toxic.
You know how it goes on those sites, in that what you click on or respond to is what they FEED you and that's even true of Nextdoor which I do little of, perhaps once a week.

I get mostly in my feet animal videos, recipes and art art art art art and photography. That is because the art is what I click on and share the most. Now recently I did click on a snake because it was a huge snake trying to encircle a deer and I wanted to report it. The result of that is that there are now snakes everywhere on my feed. I mean one snake actually was wearing a black curly long wig. Kind of cute. He was raised off the ground a bit like a cobra will do and was wearing a long black wig.
What can I tell you.
But nothing is very toxic there, and I just need to stay out of toxic.
Hard enough to stand up in the streets nowadays. Took a header off one of our broken sidewalks because I was busy watching a small tree coming up to replace a tree removed with the stump left. That will teach me. Sore left knee and right shoulder and a nasty hand scrape. I shall need extra pizza on this one tonight.
(2)
Report

Gershun,
There are many places I prefer not to go now.
Sorry that sad memories come up, but the world has so many places
to go instead of malls.

Let me know if you find some places to go.

My dH and I stop by a park with a view to eat our In N Out burgers, on the way home from the burger place.
(1)
Report

Cwillie,
Just last night, during the time when my computer actually works for 1/2 hour,
I was blocking senders of toxic reels. They just recently increased in number and content. The content I did want to see was hidden by so many other postings.

By "third place" what do you mean? Something different than a mall, maybe?
A place to walk, be around people?

What has been your best experience during the Thanksgiving season in the past?

The past 3 days, I was without a remote to turn on and navigate my Roku T.V.
Using the T.V., (I am sure too much for my health but I need a distraction), has not helped me much to get out and leave the house. I survived, and adjusted my thinking, increasing my common sense.

It turns out that dH has a hoarded collection of about 12-15 remotes. I insisted on using the remotes, after recalling he has these!

When I do get out in the neighborhood, sometimes it is empty.

Other times, other hours, there are many friendly neighbors. Just being out front potting some new plants, people stop by. It lessens the friction between my dH and I to have a third person involved.
(1)
Report

I'm just feeling sad because I can't find that "third place", and being on line all the time exposes me to too much toxicity and too much solitude.
(3)
Report

We have several malls here in Vancouver where I live. My mom and I always went to the mall near us. We'd wander and browse, stop for coffee, wander and browse some more, stop for another java. It was our thing.

I can't go to a mall now without missing mom terribly.
(3)
Report

cw - I agree. Malls have much to recommend them. It seems to go in waves - malls were in fashion, then they were not. I suppose the big box stores give more profits to the owners. It's always about the buck!
(3)
Report

My thought for today - If I had a shopping mall near me I would go there every day, I would walk and climb stairs for exercise, browse shops, stop by the food court for coffee and to mingle with people. I'd be cool in the summer, warm in the winter and dry on rainy days. But even if I lived in the city the malls are dying and they are building big box stores instead. I just don't get it...
(3)
Report

Nacy, what an awful story; I can’t imagine the pain that family has endured.
(1)
Report

Nacy, hereiam, BOJ, may I recommend The Sociopath Nextdoor by Martha Stout, Ph.D. or any of several books by Malcolm Gladwell, especially Blink?
I don’t know if they apply to your situation down the thread but even if they don’t, they are fascinating.
(2)
Report

Hey, DoggieMom, so good to hear from you. I am so sorry about Pepita. We do pay a price for their love. But I am not sure what life would be without that love.
(1)
Report

5 6 7 8 9
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter