Mom is 87 years old, and she was an entrepreneur, i.e. real estate broker, real estate investor, restaurant owner, beauty parlor owner, owned several group homes, mobile clothing store and an antique shop. She says she's purchasing all of this furniture to sell on the internet. She doesn't even know how to operate her cell phone. She is not technology proficient. She's independent, lives alone and instead of downsizing her home, she upsized. Her home is about 6, 000 square feet!!
Regardless of how successful mom once was, dementia is an equal opportunity disease. Even the smartest people on earth aren't spared from dementia.
A forum of folks from around the world cannot tell you why mom is buying all this furniture, but a doctor can. Get her in for a full physical and cognitive workup asap.
Good luck.
Obtaining items, keeping things, hoarding can all be part of dementia.
If she has not been diagnosed it might be time to get her to a neurologist or Neuropsychologist and find out what is going on.
If she does have dementia you or someone will have to step in and stop the spending. She will need her assets for her care probably sooner rather than later.
This may be difficult for her to process that he is no longer in control. She seems like she was/is a very independent woman with a good business mind and it is difficult to begin to realize that is no longer who you are.
And it may be to the point where she is no longer safe to live alone and that she is not as "independent" as she thinks she is (nor as independent as you might think she is...sorry)
Anyway, you would think your Mom would be planning ahead like she did with her other ventures... Has she discussed with you how she is going to "ship" that furniture to the Buyer? Shipping is so very expensive. For myself, just shipping 5 3-ring binder books filled with material cost me over $30. And what if the Buyer lives out of the county?
Now, if your Mom isn't developing dementia, then she can do what she wants with her money. But she needs to watch out for scams that exist big-time on internet selling sites. One scam is that a buyer will mail a check in a larger amount than the purchase item, and ask for her to mail them a check for the remainder, then their check will bounce. Some buyers may say they will send her funds using Apple Pay, Pay-pal, Google Pay, Venmo, Zelle, and even cryptocurrency. Whole different world from cash, check, and credit card.
Now, if a doctor finds that your Mom is starting to develop dementia, whomever is the financial Power-of-Attorney can put a limit on Mom's credit card for purchases. One can even put a limit on checking account.
I believe that is called hoarding which of course is a mental illness and sounds like perhaps she may have some dementia going on as well. Not a good combination.
She more than likely should NOT be living by herself anymore, nor should she be allowed to buy any more furniture.
And I'm not suggesting that she live with you, far from it, but perhaps a nice assisted living facility where only so much furniture is allowed.
Hopefully you or some other family member is her POA, as it sounds like she needs someone now to look out for her and what's in her best interest.
Is there another person in her life influencing this behavior? With the size home she has, I would guess that there must be a housekeeper, and maybe even a gardener and cook.
Is she charging all this furniture on her credit cards? You might want to see how much debt she has accrued.
Are you Mom's POA? You need to know her income and her expenses and make sure she is not putting herself in financial jeopardy.
I wish you all the best!
When she is declared by a doctor to be incompetent, meaning she can no longer make decisions for herself, her POA can then call the shots.
Make sure she signs paperwork assigning a POA, if she has not done so already.
While you're at it, make sure she has a will and has named an executor. At some point in the future, when she dies, or is placed in a care facility, someone, and that may be you, will have to go through and dispose of all her "stuff". And that may be a bother for you. But, if she is capable of living independently now, the fact that it bothers you should not stop her from doing what makes her happy.
If she can't use her cell phone, how would she notify someone if she fell down or suddenly became very ill? She needs a way to communicate with the world. And if she can't use a cell phone, I suspect that forgetting how to use a landline is not far behind. If she can't use either of those, she's not a likely candidate for the 'I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP' pendant.
Find some nice independent-to-skilled-nursing facilities where she'll have a continuum of care. If you don't have POA, she should grant it to you before she's diagnosed with dementia. Then you can start selling the furniture and get the house on the market. At age 87, she's going to keep declining, so be ready. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this.
My dad buys stuff from TacGear "for free" and is charged $19.99 "shipping and handling" - he charged over $700 last month. His caregiver/manager was there when I put the bill in front of him and showed him. He says "I didn't do that" and the caregiver and I say "we know you did" and the caregiver immediately opens his phone to the "next" offer and shows the fine print about the amount of shipping and handling. We'll see what next month holds.
My dad also likes the casino and sending $5 and $10 checks to all sorts of charities (at least 50 every month, down from 200). On the casino, it is Bingo and slots. He won at Bingo one day last month and I said - put the winnings into the slots and rotate the money for the slots. He hasn't taken out cash since - I gave him a challenge to be able to keep playing if he plays smart - stop when ahead, not just hit the button until it's gone. (Wish I'd thought of that earlier LOL).
Donations - I joke with him that he's making a lot of work for me, but I'd rather reconcile those than $600 of knives etc. in a month that no one in the family really wants or needs. I make the statement and let him think about it. I don't push - he's going to do what he will do.
I feel like I have a teenager gaining independence. It IS HIS $'s so he gets to do what he wants, but he also makes statements about the cost of things.
I pray for words and sometimes they work. I keep trying.
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