
Last night my husband came home from the office looking like a ghost. I asked him, “What’s wrong?”
He told me that one of his staff had not been to work since last week, was on emergency PTO. My husband was aware that she had been dealing with her elderly parents refusing to go to a facility or doctors and they kept firing hired caregivers. She assumed they had dementia, living in a somewhat hoarded house as well. She had no luck with APS.
Yesterday, HR informed my husband that she had emailed that she felt she was not doing her job well enough anymore due to family caregiving problems and was resigning immediately. She also committed suicide.
There needs to be a better way of releasing caregivers from these situations.
I am sorry that I inadvertently used a term . I have asked for forgiveness and said I would try to be more mindful .
I have also asked for some understanding that there was no intent to offend.
In return I was shamed and was told that I can not understand the trauma a family has gone through dealing with grieving over a family member’s death by suicide .
This is false .
You can call me out by name. I am the one who refered to the woke nonsense and semantics.
No need for the passive/aggressive disrespect though. I do not and will not apologize for speaking plainly or using plain language. The great benefit of this is that I am very rarely if ever misunderstood. I call a spade a spade. If there are people that choose to live their lives being continuously offended by something, I say too bad. The world is going to be a very sad and unhappy place for people who get offended and all worked up over nothing or imagined nonsense.
But keep derailing your own post so this caregiver is forgotten.
I already reported this post yesterday.
Yes, language evolves.
Yes, language matters.
For the third time, I appreciate that Wayto said she will be more aware in the future and I thank her for posting that.
All they had to do was say, “Thank you for this information. I was not aware and I appreciate you looking out for me so that I don’t inflict pain on another person accidentally.”
And then this thread would have kept on topic about this poor woman who died by suicide because it’s that hard to caregive and how her 17 year old son will go through life. It’s so very hard getting left behind when someone dies this way.
Family and friends disappear because they don’t know what to say or do. We experienced this, so I’m helpfully letting people know what words to NOT use.
And you don’t think your post telling me that I don’t understand the trauma of death by suicide in a family is offensive ??
C’mon !!!
You had no idea what my experiences were .
And now you turn it back on me that by calling you out , I’m derailing my own thread.
I guess only some of us are willing to admit some responsibility here .
We all can’t be perfect all the time .
You can’t understand my trauma because you didn’t have to look for a deceased body.
Grief is not a contest . Yet your detailed posts about your family read as such .
Your bullying of people because you are grieving is inappropriate.
There were prob enough cries for help that werent noticed. Even teams - they could have a check in weekly How are you doing all and go around the table (or phone) and listen to how people are doing. Maybe going forward it may help others.
That said your husband has received some terrible news maybe he needs to check in with counselling - that is hard to digest. I will light candle for the dear lady today and to all those affected. Best.