I’m 25f and I’ve worked at this facility for almost 2 years. This facility is located in Colorado. She has lived here for almost 3. We’ve had several issues with her daughter stealing from her and have had to have her removed from our grounds. She’s 100% mentally competent and is also self medicated. She was originally placed here because her family was abusing her, otherwise she would be perfectly capable of living on her own.
Her and I have grown close as I have helped her with personal things as well as caring for her pets. She has approached me and asked if I would be her POA because her current POA is her younger sister who is experiencing massive medical problems and is unable to care for herself. Her daughter is untrustworthy and so are her oldest grandchildren.
I asked her if she had spoken with our ED about this and she said that our ED told her it was between the two of us. But I know it’s so much bigger than that. And I’m just worried about my future and what ramifications this could have. I do care for her deeply and I know she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t genuinely need help. I’m just very confused and I want to make sure I make the right decisions. I’ll be talking with my supervisor the next time she is in facility. Until then I’m just not sure how to handle this appropriately.
You are too young to be tied into something like this and to be a POA one should understand the ramifications.
She has 2 options: she calls up a certified elder law attorney (or better, a firm of younger attorneys so it's not just 1) and asks what they recommend; or she has the CELA draft up a "pre-need guardian" document naming a person if in the future she still doesn't have a PoA and gets a court-appointed legal guardian but if she has this document she can name that specific person (if they're willing) rather than an unknown person. Our family had a good experience with a court-appointed 3rd person legal guardian for my SFIL. The guardian came from Lutheran Social Services (in Mpls, MN).
You are too young to take this on. I have 3 sons. I have not (yet) included my youngest as a PoA or trustee because he lacks enough knowledge. He's 25. Eventually I will fold him in, but not yet. He also doesn't live in the same state. If you become her PoA you may find it limiting if you chose to move away. There are plenty of posts on this forum about long-distance management.
Don't feel bad about declining. She'll probably ask another aid there. Hopefully she'll call an attorney. She has options.
I believe that the ED gave you bad advice. Your instincts are right. You shouldn't get involved. You can still be her friend, her helper, and her favorite person, but you should tell her that you don't have the kind of experience that would make you the best person to be her POA.
She can get her attorney to be POA. I wouldn't do it.
They will inform you that you are completely out of line.
#2, You, as a worker, are NOT ALLOWED TO BECOME POA for a resident.
You also, given how little you know about all of this are in no way competent to be a POA for anybody.
#3. Your actions can get you thrown into jail and accused of elder abuse should you agree to be POA for a resident at the facility you work for.
#4. Your post here will absolutely TERRIFY anyone putting an elder into care at a facility.
#5. You say you care for her deeply. You are not there to form familial close bonds to residents. Your care of them amounts to your PROTECTION of them, and sadly one of those protections would be FROM some one with no idea of what POA is and how it works taking POA from someone they are giving care to.
CALL YOU ADMINISTRATOR TODAY.
Unless you wish to lose you job at once, do not say it was ever your intention to take POA. But do tell them that this resident asked you to do so (were she entirely competent she would have known better than to suggest such a thing). Tell them also of her accusations of abuse. I have a feeling that the admin will reassure you that this resident's monies are already designated as going into her care.
#5. You need to understand that, as a caregiver you are a MANDATED REPORTER.
If you believe that any family member is abusing this elder, if this elder has told you that they are being financially or mentally or emotionally or physically abused in any way you must report this to Administration at once, and you are mandated to know your administration has followed up on accusations of abuse.
If the woman could live independently, she would be. She would not be paying huge care bills every month to live at an assisted living facility.
Do not take this on because you will then become responsible for her and she probably has dementia but is undiagnosed. She may seem fine, but beware of how fast a still "sharp" elder will turn on a dime when you have the POA and she can't get her own way on something. I learned ths lesson personally and the hard way too.
Years ago I had POA for an elderly private homecare client I worked for. She was very "sharp" too and had an untrustworthy family. She took this to mean that I was to be at her beck and call 24/7. She thought she owned me. Turns out after talking to some of her family, all of them had been POA at one time or another and there was no pleasing her. I got myself removed and never again. It's not worth it.
It's not worth it because there will likely be nothing in it for you. If she needs someone to assume POA for her then your facility's administrator and social worker are the ones to help her with that. Don't take it on because no doubt you will be sorry you do.
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