Follow
Share
Hi everyone - my mom in her early 70s was diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's about 4 years ago. This past year her mental capacity for many tasks has lessened. She can't make many decisions on her own (when to shower, when and what to eat, how to do laundry, etc.) She and my dad currently live with me and we all have cell phones. Last year we finally took away the land line because the scam calls got too bad and she was always talking to anyone who called. A lot of drama at first until not having a land line became normal then she seemed to accept it and forgot we ever had one. A few months ago we were concerned because she was obsessively calling people on her cell, mostly relatives who were understanding, but it was sometimes dozens of times a day, which became disruptive for them. Now, just this past month she seems to have forgotten she has a cell phone. It ends up in a drawer, behind books on a shelf, or lost for several days, and the process of needing to charge it has been forgotten. I'm wondering if it's now best to take it away (she seems fine with this), and just rely on friends and relatives calling myself or my dad to connect to her. I hate to take away an outlet for people to connect with her, but also worry that if I get any other kind of "dementia friendly" phone, she might start calling people obsessively again. Or become depressed if she realizes people aren't calling her often enough. Has anyone had a similar experience? It's just my dad and I caring for her now at home, but I know eventually an in-home caregiver will be needed or one of my parents will need to move into a care facility where they might need a phone again. Is there any phone system where people can call in, but the phone user can't call out? I think the obsessiveness is born from loneliness and boredom, which happens but so long as she's living with other people there is enough distraction to take her attention away from using the phone when we notice it becoming an issue. Her most challenging behavior right now is the need to rummage and misplace household items, which is a constant struggle and something my dad has trouble accepting. I think the phone to her at this point is just an object to move from one place to another. But I also fear she could suddenly get upset she doesn't have one (only to forget again later) and the cycle continues. Any insights are welcome, thanks all!
When my 95-yr old Mom started calling customer service numbers because she thought her appliances were broken (they weren't, she just forgets how to use them) I got her a RAZ mobility phone. It looks like a smart phone but has no internet connection (no browsing, no texting, no FaceTime, no apps, etc). The contacts are pics of people, and I control who can call her, who she can call, and when she can call them (no calls after 8pm for example).

BUT... if your Mom is misplacing things, this will also likely disappear. My Mom hasn't gotten to that phase yet.

I agree with Daughterof1930... just let the phone fade from her memory. No need to remind her of it, she's naturally not concerned about it anymore.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

I have not been through this, but would be grateful the phone has been mostly forgotten and would make it permanent. Sadly, it’s another loss, one of so many in this sad journey. But this seems one that could be done without a fight, and that’s a blessing. I wish you all peace in such a hard time
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter