We are in and out of the hospital with multiple issues mostly stemming from the lack of wanting to drink. UTIs, pneumonia, dehydration, falls from dehydration, low blood pressure issues stemming from dehydration.
The assisted living home will encourage fluids but they don’t sit there to see that they are not being fully used. There’s no explaining the importance of hydration because there are a million excuses as to why she has more than enough (possibly drinks 2-8 ounces a day!) I understand this is her disease making things difficult but does anyone else have any experience with this? Any advice appreciated!
Careblazer, I am sorry that you are facing these difficult choices. I think that tiredandweary nailed the reality of the situation perfectly.
So. The next time she goes to the ER for whatever issue is happening, that is when I am asking for a hospice evaluation. So we can end the insanity of the hospitals, the rehabs, the tests, all of it. She deserves comfort care at this stage of her life (93) and disease. She also refuses to drink liquid b/c it 'makes her pee' and she's incontinent on top of everything else.
Leave your loved one alone, get a hospice evaluation the next time she's off to the ER, and let God take over. When it's her time to go, she'll go. Your job is to see that she's as comfortable as possible during the journey.
The way I do it with my client right now with dementia .In the morning she likes coffee with every Breakfast.I bring one cup with the coffee.Once she finishes I bring her 6 morning pills to the table with water ...IN..the same cup she drinks coffee. WHY?...with clients with brain issues we need First see their necessities. Then make it easy on them.My client DO NOT LIKE to drink water.But with the cup she is comfortable to do so it's with the coffee one. WE BOUGHT 12 of the same cup.When they see different items around the table or different dishes they get confused.So when breakfast is done we start with her meds.Our goal in my 12 hour shift from 9am to 9pm it's...minimum 8 cups. During each hour I bring to her half cup of water.When the first round finishes...THE NEGOTIATION START.
I will bring the Newspaper...and together we start going thru the news paper.I tell her ....I'm bringing a cup of water for me and one for you because we are going to be sitting for long and the kidney needs to work while we are reading.WE start reading and talking and drinking water by11AM she and I had one cup of coffee and two cups of water.Then by close to 1pm I walk her to the bathroom the she finishes and I invite her to walk to the building elevators like a 12 minute walk in total. When we come back another cup of water the same cup...and as days progresses I do my best to assist with such important task.NOT only for the client but for all around them.The aide or visitors can also bring their water.WHY if they see only them have to drink water they might think we are going to harm them.When she needs to drink water...it be nice someone sits with her and also drink water to bring her some kind of security that water it's not POISON.Their brains doesn't funtinon the way we would like for them to funtinon.REMEMBER is their brain and they controle it.We just work around it.It will take a lots of negotiation but it's duable.Little sips on a nice Cup that she can feel comfortable like with beautiful roses of maybe animal print.My client loves Cat's .PLEASE let us know how it's going.Wish you all a very nice journey.Good luck.
Now there does come a time when not drinking or eating means the body is shutting down. They no longer can swallow. Forcing them to do either does more harm than good. This is the "end stage". This is where Hospice can be called in. They will keep the person comfortable.
And they don't decide, they can no longer do that. The brain is dying and losing controll of the body.
I wanted to know if anyone has advice for how to deal with this since it is causing a lot of medical issues for her.
we are concerned that it will worsen.
Popsicle's, jello, pudding, (keep in mind none of these are good if the food has to be thickened.)
Meals like soups are another great way to increase fluids.
Fruits
Between meal shakes like Boost, Ensure or other nutrition drinks might also help.
Is it possible that the AL is not able to monitor enough and the better choice would be Memory Care?
I agree that memory care is probably a better option for her at this point but it’s convincing her children to make that move for her that’s stalling the process. I hope they see very soon that it is the safest option.
It's not a complete solution but soups, broths, and other "watery" foods can help.
But he will drink milk and juice and I don't give him coffee, alcohol, sodas.
Find things that he likes to drink because even tho it's not water, it will hydrate
Also, I have a bottle of water sitting beside my Dad 24 7 and try unscrewing the lid and tell him to take a sip. Do this as often as you walk by him.
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