Another tangential question to whether a person with dementia sometimes fakes dementia is can a person with dementia learn new things when they are adamant that they cannot?
I ask because my mother resisted doing her laundry at a new facility for months. I do believe she was having difficulty retaining the information even after the management marked the buttons "1" and "2" with a Sharpie..
However, when she repeatedly "took over" the task when we had someone helping her we decided to leave it in her hands. There were a couple of weeks with her asking for me (her daughter) to do it for her, but I kept reminding her, in the face of her denial of help, that we'd gotten help for her, but she wouldn't let them do the work.
Amazingly after a couple of weeks of reminding her why no-one was doing it for her she began doing it herself.
I have complimented her, as do the others in her home, on her accomplishment!
It seems that she did indeed have the ability to learn. And it has done wonders for her self-esteem to be able to do it all by herself!
I believe that even though it seemed cruel to resist stepping in and doing it for her IN THIS CASE it turned out that it was a good thing not to do it for her.
Does anyone else have stories to this effect, that show that there are abilities that would be easy to take over from their loved one, but they can do it if encouraged to do so?
I believe we are doing them a disfavor in some cases, although I know there are times. especially when danger is involved, when we need to step in.
I’m convinced that dementia is a breakdown anywhere in the brain, not a definable or patterned loss of abilities, or an “all or nothing” scenario. I look at it as including a breakdown of judgement, such that any action is acceptable in her mind if it achieves the outcome she desires. More helplessness = more of my time = good. Too much helplessness = hired help = bad. Although I don’t think it is reasoned through as such. More of a random mix of anger and an inability to articulate as she unconsciously tries to find that sweet spot.
My mother was assessed quickly in the ER by psych staff and weeks later during a full assessment as having advanced dementia. Thinks her parents are alive, has no idea where she lives, thinks I was pregnant with my 17 year old until 2 months ago, cannot consistently ID her 3 grandkids, IDs me and my husband 99% of the time, doesn’t know the days of the week, and thinks people slip in through the cracks around her windows, has no concept of safe food handling (cooked and baked a great deal pre-dementia), cannot compare or contrast the $ value between a diamond ring and a broken pair of scissors, just to name a few things.
What Brandee said surprises me. One reason my Mom was released from rehab is that she couldn't remember the exercises from day to day or understand what the therapist wanted from her.
Dementia is unpredictable. Each day is a different day. No rhyme or reason. What facility is she in that they expect residents to do there own laundry? Moms laundry was in the price of her room.
Mom--late stage alzheimers had one caregiver who worked with her on range of motion exercises. Mom memorized the pattern of the range of motion exercises. I was really impressed.