Recently turned 60 caring full time for my husband that also recently turned 60 and has suffered two hemorrhagic strokes a year apart. Our world has been turned upside down medically mentally and most of all financially. My husband has been the sole provider for 33 years pretty much and had a very good retail career. I did as well but had to end my career back when he had a heart attack and renal failure and kidney transplant. He worked through it all and now he has had two very bad strokes and now our savings is gone and credit ruined and I don't know how to even get us a placed to live on our credit score. His memory comes and goes and I cant leave him alone to work. He wants to be with me 24/7 or his moods will cause him to freak out I don't know where to go from here. We have pretty much lost everything down to our own place to live. Currently staying with family but nobody understands our situation not even him
You problem is unique in that you are both too young for retirement.
I think here that you must now be on SSDI? Have you looking into any programs in your state that may provide access to low income housing through your caseworker? Are you yourself able to get any minimal payment for the care of your husband?
You don't tell us what the limitations are for your husband post stroke, but the truth is that if he requires your full time care he is likely going to need to enter care. That will mean a division of finances if there ARE any. And the only thing about being wiped out here is that there are no assets to divide. Your husband's care would be provided by the federal government programs, and in all honesty, for those under retirement age and not on Medicare I have zero idea what those programs are. I have to refer you to medical, social services and SSI manager to discuss.
I will tell you first off the hardest truths I know. I have a friend/CPA whose wife was put into a permanent coma following an accident. He had two small children. He had to actually divorce her so that her care would be paid for rather than taking is income which he needed for his childcare so he could work. No one was even informed of the divorce. He was faithful to his wife the years she lived, and they were more than a few.
I can only refer you to those who are working with the severely disabled in your area, to your coucil on aging (tho you are young for it), to your caseworkers. I can only send sympathy and best wishes and tell you that what you are dealing with is more than I can even begin to imagine. My heart goes out to you, and that surely is of no use to you at all.
I hope others have some idea of where you might turn. I just don't. I can't imagine. I hope you'll update us and I wish you the very best.