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Recently turned 60 caring full time for my husband that also recently turned 60 and has suffered two hemorrhagic strokes a year apart. Our world has been turned upside down medically mentally and most of all financially. My husband has been the sole provider for 33 years pretty much and had a very good retail career. I did as well but had to end my career back when he had a heart attack and renal failure and kidney transplant. He worked through it all and now he has had two very bad strokes and now our savings is gone and credit ruined and I don't know how to even get us a placed to live on our credit score. His memory comes and goes and I cant leave him alone to work. He wants to be with me 24/7 or his moods will cause him to freak out I don't know where to go from here. We have pretty much lost everything down to our own place to live. Currently staying with family but nobody understands our situation not even him

Yes, staying with family will likely not be an answer. While they may sympathize, few will be willing to sacrifice the daily lives they live to your problems, no matter how much they love and empathize.

You problem is unique in that you are both too young for retirement.
I think here that you must now be on SSDI? Have you looking into any programs in your state that may provide access to low income housing through your caseworker? Are you yourself able to get any minimal payment for the care of your husband?

You don't tell us what the limitations are for your husband post stroke, but the truth is that if he requires your full time care he is likely going to need to enter care. That will mean a division of finances if there ARE any. And the only thing about being wiped out here is that there are no assets to divide. Your husband's care would be provided by the federal government programs, and in all honesty, for those under retirement age and not on Medicare I have zero idea what those programs are. I have to refer you to medical, social services and SSI manager to discuss.

I will tell you first off the hardest truths I know. I have a friend/CPA whose wife was put into a permanent coma following an accident. He had two small children. He had to actually divorce her so that her care would be paid for rather than taking is income which he needed for his childcare so he could work. No one was even informed of the divorce. He was faithful to his wife the years she lived, and they were more than a few.

I can only refer you to those who are working with the severely disabled in your area, to your coucil on aging (tho you are young for it), to your caseworkers. I can only send sympathy and best wishes and tell you that what you are dealing with is more than I can even begin to imagine. My heart goes out to you, and that surely is of no use to you at all.

I hope others have some idea of where you might turn. I just don't. I can't imagine. I hope you'll update us and I wish you the very best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I would check out that 2 year wait for Medical. My nephew was on full Medicaid, once on SS disability he received Medicare. I do jot remember having a waiting period. I would go to Social Services and see if you can get help there. Office of Aging is good for resources too.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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He just got his first SSDI after a year wait from his first stroke he didn't get approved until this year in February but had to wait 5 months for first payment in September. Social workers at the hospital said he didn't qualify for assistance at the time because his medical was through his job was still active but now it will be ending because they are terminating him since he has been off for a year. There is a two year wait period for medical through SSDI. Thank you for your response I appreciate it. I often feel like no one hears me. So I appreciate you
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Reply to Murphyd830
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The first thing to do is to get him on SSDI. Does he have it, or in the process of getting it? The other thing you need to do is get the help of a social worker. Did a SW at the hospital he was in reach out to you? the SW needs to help you get into senior or disability housing where they take a portion of income for rent.
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Reply to mstrbill
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