We have been together about 15 years. His tremors started about 10 years ago and have progressed significantly since. I love him and don't mind caring for him but am finding it difficult to remain sexually attracted to him. I don't want to tell him because I think it would devastate him. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Several months ago someone posted about not having sex with their husband that was suffering from dementia. They didn't feel their husband was their equal anymore. I had read their statement to my husband who commented that sexual pleasure was such an animal instinct. He felt sorry for the man that he was deprived of his prior state and lost his sex life with his wife due to her distaste. My husband was really upset about it.
My MIL did continue to have sex with my FIL, he had lost 2 legs (both were cut off above the knees) and he was demented. Still had a strong sex drive and she continued to have sex with him, before dementia got her, and after. I don't know how she felt about it, I didn't ask.
Men place a great deal of importance on sex. Can you go through the motions without being attracted to him?
What's that old line? The man speaks during sex and his wife tells him "be quiet, I am trying to fantasize now and it's not you I am fantasizing about".
I have similar feelings, with less excuse. My husband and I recently agreed to a schedule. That gives me the feeling that he won't be coming at me the rest of the time. I am surprise to find a little bit of interest stirring as the date approaches. He wishes that we could be more spontaneous, but I asked him which he would prefer, a schedule or no sex?
I used to like sex, honest.
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