As I posted previously, Dad fell and broke his hip two weeks ago. He was in the hospital 5 days before being moved back to the nursing home. Though he seemed to make progress, he began to sleep extensively. Saturday he ate some of his breakfast, but only about ten bites of lunch before refusing to eat further. He hasn't eaten since then and has had only a few sips of fluid, which was on Monday. Today is Thursday. He has been in a deep sleep since early Monday. We can feel the vibration in his lungs from fluid and he was suctioned several times. That has stopped now. His oxygen content on Wednesday evening was 90%, even with oxygen being supplied, but his blood pressure was still very good. He seems comfortable, is getting pain meds when needed but they don't seem to be needed that frequently if at all now.
For those of you who've gone through this, how long might Daddy last at this point? Most folks I've spoken to say maybe 3-4 days after eating and drinking has stopped, some say several weeks. I hope he doesn't linger for weeks... It seems Dad just decided he didn't want to eat anymore -- he was having terrible trouble swallowing and I think most of what he was eating was being aspirated toward the end. On Saturday as we sat with him during lunch he just sat and stared into a corner of the room above the table. He wouldn't look at either Mom or myself, seemed like he couldn't figure out how. Late as he lay in bed he asked for Mom though she was right there. She asked, "Can't you see me?" and he said no.
I agree with others here...talk to him. He will hear you. My husband passed away in August. I was told by a visitor who had experienced several deaths in his family...that hearing is the last thing to go. He advised me to speak to my husband and tell him...it was okay to go. A day before he died, my husband, in a medically induced sleeping state, responded with his hands when visitors would speak to him. So, I know that he was hearing them. The next evening, when there was further decline in his breathing, his sons and I, at bedside, told him it was okay to go. He passed 15 minutes later.
Say what you need to say to your father...tell him you and the family will be okay...and then release him.
I wish you and your family, including your father...peace.
See All Answers