They are not my parents, so I'm getting this information second-hand to share with you... For financial reasons, this couple is having to share an apartment (both are around 80-85), and also have an alcoholic son (in his 50s) living with them. It's a co-dependent, dysfunctional mess. The wife is declining with dementia. Their daughter doesn't know what to do. She lives out of town, but is essentially the only responsible offspring. They had a birthday celebration, and while the mother with dementia had been doing well, but the father, who is worn out between dealing with her issues and the alcoholic son, who is working his way toward his own death, began to argue with her over very small issues. Dad can't make himself throw the "kid" out, so houses him when he's on a bender, and now the son has congestive heart failure, and ended up in the hospital this week, for a few days, drunk and sick. There is so little money available for them even to have someone come in for a little respite care. It's doubtful that the dad would leave the apartment anyway. The caregiver would basically be a referee. Their daughter contacted the state Council on Aging, and they were of no help, since the mother isn't far enough into dementia to qualify for special assistance, and again..... no money. Any ideas I can share with her at all?
I'll ask her again.