Recently my mother was denied renewal of her Senior Membership to The Senior Center in her hometown of Southbury, CT. The allegations presented to her by the Senior Director are far-fetched and exaggerated. Nevertheless, the Senior Director will not renew my mother’s membership and further ordered my mother and me to be arrested for trespassing even though we were guests of another member. This occurred this past Memorial Day weekend.
As a matter of fact, the local police department was ordered by the Director to have my mother and I arrested and escorted off the property.
We were there to play ping pong with the group of senior players who are acquainted with my mother. She was mortified and embarrassed in front of her friends. She really needs this group activity exposure for her mental wellbeing as prescribed by the National Alzheimer’s Association. What course of action should I take concerning her membership?
But sadly I suspect it may be something much less interesting, such as that her adult child has been advocating for her right to participate in activities she is no longer able to share in without detriment to the group, and conflict has arisen. Perhaps.
Yeah, no. Think long and hard about why this is happening to you and your mother. About why you're not 'victims' here but perhaps victimIZING others in the center due to certain behaviors you are exhibiting. Or certain rules that are being broken; nobody can know the answer to those questions but you and your mother.
Instead of 'taking action' concerning your mother's membership, perhaps abide by the decision that's already been made and take your mother elsewhere for her mental wellbeing. I doubt the NAA specifically told you to take her to THIS Senior Center for her wellbeing and to play PING PONG there and only there.
Start over somewhere else, with a clean slate, and no orders for the police to arrest either of you for trespassing on their grounds. You don't need that kind of embarrassment to happen again, nor do you need to pursue a membership in a center where you are not wanted or welcomed with open arms. I wouldn't pursue it myself if I were in your shoes.
I also suggest you remove your mother's real name from your profile as this information is prohibited on the AgingCare website because it's important for users to maintain privacy.
What reasons did the Director of the senior center give the police to have you and your mother escorted from the premesis?
The cops do not just come for no reason.
If it is that your mom has Alzheimer's/dementia and she can no longer be accommodated at a senior center, there are other alternatives for socialization. Like adult day care.
Have you talked to her friends to see if something has happened when Mom is at the center. Really, to ban her when with friends seems serious. What is the director saying? What are friends saying?
Any Dementia is precarious. You never know what a person is going to do next. They no longer have a filter. Do u live with Mom? Do u see what she is like late in the afternoon when "Sundowning" starts. In early stages, the person is aware there is something wrong and can "showtime" making people think there is no problem.
Is this a center for town residents, and your mom no longer resides in that town?
And in answer, yes, a private organization can have any rules they like about membership as long as they are not discriminatory against race, age, sexual persuasion and the usual things that fall under laws against discrimination. Their rules will be printed and posted in the usual ways. Infractions against the rules will result in non-renewal.
Hope you can supply what is missing from this story.
I think it might be more appropriate to address the underlying facts and make an appointment to discuss them with the Director to determine if the causes for denial of renewal as well as police escort can be addressed, and solutions developed.
I can understand how frustrating this must be, and embarrassing, but unless the Director is someone with a nasty temperament, I suspect there are causes and that there have been complaints by other members.
You wrote:
he really needs this group activity exposure for her mental wellbeing as prescribed by the National Alzheimer’s Association. "
W/o being too prying, what were the NAA's recommendations? Did they address behavioral issues?
You also might search the Senior Center's online profile to see if you can find membership criteria, behavior and guidelines.
What is the rest of the story?
And if she or you caused any disruption or violated any terms of the facility then yes you can be asked to leave and if you do not they have the right to have the police escort you off the property. If you resist they can arrest you.,
From your profile:
"My Major Concern At The Present Time Is The Senior Center And The Code Of Conduct Rules As They Pertain To The Rights Of Senior Members Belonging to A Senior Center And The Necessary Services The Center Provides".
Are you demanding services that they do not have staffing or funding to provide? Are there conduct problems?