Mom seems to be at the beginning of her transition this morning....she has stopped accepting food and water and has noticeably declined from yesterday...still somewhat alert but quite confused. Hospice nurse took vitals and heartbeat is slowing but still fairly strong...her skin is cooler than yesterday... We did not have the discussion because mom still voices hope she will get better..but also told me she is fighting for my sake.....Told her my late dad is very proud of her , misses her and to not be afraid, which seemed to bring some comfort. ...and that it is ok to stop fighting so hard because she did a good job with me and I have a good life. She then asked for a nap, so I , as always, told her I loved her, and left and will be back tomorrow...and then collapsed into a puddle of tears in my car. No way of knowing how long this stage will last...only praying that she will not have to linger. Our pastor was here this morning to give her communion which was comforting to both of us. I feel so blessed that we were able to apologize for our past hurts to each other and that I will have these past few months and our new beginning to carry in my heart after she is gone...for all of you who have difficult relationships ...there is a always a chance before it is too late to make things right ..I am living it , if you have followed my journey on here , with all my challenges with mom and her MH issues ...Which have finally been addressed and brought us both peace. Sending love and encouragement to all of you....
You can have Hospice order the hospital bed with NO mattress.
Place the mattress you have that mom likes on the hospital bed.
The Staff can raise and lower it so it is safe for them for "body mechanics"
the head and foot can be raised and lowered so you mom can get comfortable and it aids in repositioning.
Generally the hospital bed is a Twin XL but sometimes a wider bed can be ordered that would be like a Double.
It is worth asking for.
Profiling beds (hospital beds) come in a range of sizes. See if they can find one that will work with her mattress - or maybe hire a profiling bed with a similar mattress to the one she likes, because again there are lots of different types. Ask an OT for recommendations, the hospice should have one.
Your mother is fortunate to have a daughter who is so lovely.
I'm glad your found a beautiful dress in her favorite color.
So glad you have this opportunity for communication & this honesty. Many tell of this stage being so hard yet also a gift.
Sending u virtual ((hugs)).
it is so difficult!
We feel for them and ourselves. Sometimes, we feel selfish for not wanting to let them go. Then, we realize that we don’t want them to linger for a long time.
It’s wonderful that you were able to find healing in your relationship. I’m very happy for you and your mom.
My mom was comforted by receiving communion also. I’m glad that your pastor visited her and brought communion to her.
I’m sure that she found comfort hearing you speak about your father.
It’s perfectly natural to cry during these times. You are starting the grieving process because the end is near.
Wishing you peace as you continue on in your caregiving journey.