I am bi-polar w/ chronic depression. Because of covid 19 no places are taking "new residents". We are in the purple zone & my dad only has enough $ for Feb rent then he is homeless. Family could care less. I just can't handle anymore of the everyday growing needs of him. I just can't do it all alone. My life is spiriling into deep dark depression & thoughts of self harm which is not good. I don't want to see him in the streets - I can't! He can't live w/ me, not allowed. He too is a very depressed person who recently lost EVERYTHING at 78yrs In the CARR FIRE IN NO CA. I'm all he has but 2 extremely depressed people don't make for good choices or decesion making. I mean mixing bi- polar w/ high anxiety & chronic depression with dementia & extreme depression don't do well together even though I have done my very best & tried my hardest I'm out of solutions. I need help so bad on so many levels. please.? Merry Christmas -to all
Your profile states:
"WE HAVE AN OPEN CASE W/ APS & I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE BEING SO INVASIVE RUDE & MA.NIPULATIVE TOWARDS MY FATHER & I. I NEED LEGAL HELP BADLY, THEY APS, TOOK HIS INHIERITENCE WHY?..."
I'm assuming this means no one has Power of Attorney for him? And that maybe he is already a Medicaid recipient? If this is the case then you really can't legally do anything but the county can. They are just very overwhelmed with cases right now. If your father is telling you that APS is being rude, manipulative and taking his inheritance, it may be he is having delusions, which is common for people with certain types of decline. It is also possible he is having a UTI, which can alter seniors' behaviors quite a bit. If you are able to contact his case worker you may want to communicate this concern.
Your are extraordinarily burdened by your feelings of responsibility for his care. I'm so sorry for how it is affecting you. Is it possible that his other family CAN'T do anything legally to help him, and it just looks like they won't? You can't make him do anything without PoA or guardianship. You can't act on his behalf. Once the county gets guardianship (if they find him cognitively impaired) then they will place him and he will be safe and fed and get the medical care he needs. I think that during covid his landlord will not legally be able to evict him. He should just stay put and not leave.
Here is a hard truth: your father is a fully grown adult who had his whole life to plan for his senior years...and didn't seem to do a very good job. This is not your problem. You can't fix this. You shouldn't try in your current state of health. Many on this forum have been in your shoes. Please resist having him move in with you -- it won't help him in the long run. Be patient with APS, give them time to get to his case. Many people have their hair on fire right now. You should just focus on you. Don't internalize his crisis. Put up a healthy boundary and protect yourself. Please call 911 or a crisis hotline if you continue to have thoughts of self-harm. May you receive peace in your heart.
Apparently APS was, according to Geaton below, involved already in part with your Dad. Please don't speak with people about your father or agree to take on his care in any way. The system cannot and will not cast an elder into the streets. There is no eviction happening in the US currently due to covid. Do not agree under any circumstances to take your Father into your home. You are not mentally able to take on his care at this time, perhaps at any time.
The system may have to take guardianship of your father. The Independent Living will be able to contact social services to arrange for placement of your father in care. Tell them when/if they call you to contact APS for your father. Do know that if he has an "inheritance" as was stated in prior posts, a guardianship by State, temporary or permanent will have a right to access his assets for his care.
As you can imagine, many seniors do not have children. The system steps in. Right now your Dad does have a child, but one whose own life precludes her being able to help him. Seek help for yourself now. I am so sorry you are facing all of this at once.
As Geaton777 said, unfortunately your dad did not plan well for his elder years. His lack of planning should not make an emergency in your world. Do what you can, while taking care of yourself too.
Are you in touch with APS? Does your area have some kind of legal services for elders? He and/or you could definitely benefit from some assistance.
If you are unable to handle this, which is perfectly legitimate, let APS or whoever is "in charge" of his situation/case, what your problems and limitations are. Someone is going to have to make some decisions, but it does not HAVE to be you. Of course, you want to help him, but do not get into the thinking that you HAVE to do everything you can for him. That is just not true and could be putting way too much pressure on yourself.