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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I don't know your situation but my mother died last year while I was still caring for my grandma. My grandma has dementia so she did not understand my tears and heartache. In fact right after it happened, her caregiver left for the day, after being there for 3 days constantly, leaving me for the first time with her. I was so sad and in tears. Grandma finally asked why I was sad. I said because mom died. She started to bawl her eyes out. I finally looked at her after crying and said, "It wasn't your mom, it was mine." Her tears stopped and she looked right at me and said, "Well I'm still sorry your mom died." It was at that moment I realized why I was doing what I was doing. She didn't even understand that my mom was her daughter. She had lost her mom way before I was even born 38 years ago and yet she couldn't remember so the death would have been raw and new for her to deal with.
I had taken over caring for my grandma when my mom was dealing with cancer. She had surgeries, chemo and radiation, had cancer eating away her body and honestly she needed me to care for her so her caring for my grandma was impossible. That little second of interaction reminded me of how I was sad and heartbroken but that she needed me to continue to care for her.
At first it was hard. I'd start crying at the worst times. Sometimes when putting her to sleep I'd just sit there and quietly cry. Other times I'd be crying while fixing her meal at the microwave with my back turned towards her but still in her sight so she didn't get upset at being left alone. Other times while she was using the bathroom I'd pretend to read a book while really just crying while she was sitting and using the bathroom. It was hard. What I wanted to do was what a lot of people have the pleasure of doing and that was to go to bed and not wake up for days. I was so tired after caring around the clock for my mom. I had a caregiver with grandma (the state of CT was nice and gave me extra care for my grandma so I could be with my mom. In fact the helper we had, even stayed longer the last morning after I had used up my respite care hours when she knew it was time for extra hours just so I could sit with my mom. Her mom had passed away and she was with her mom and she wanted to make sure I was with mine when it happened.)
It was hard. When my caregiver helper would come in to sit with my grandma, I would escape to the basement where I could talk to mom and pack up my entire house to get ready to move to Maine because I wanted to be near my sister and her family. I spent that time really truly grieving. I'd cry at first almost constantly, then it got a little less but a box in her handwriting would set me off. Having those hours to myself to really cry it out helped. I'd come upstairs probably looking terrible after crying on and off for hours but I'd be tired so I was able to care for grandma tired but not in tears so often.
Take your time for yourself when you can. Don't be afraid to cry. Don't be afraid to look for help. Even if you can't get totally away from your mom, having respite care come into the house to really care for her while you take time for yourself is huge. As stated earlier there are resources out there. Don't be afraid that during this time you can't do it alone. It's ok. Everyone is allowed to need help sometimes. Just take it a day at a time. I personally found the fact that I had to carry on to care for someone else, something that helped as I couldn't lose myself in my grief, I was needed. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. You aren't alone.
I'm sorry to hear how are you feeling. If you are grieving the loss of a pet, another family member or friend or your mom's health and feeling overwhelmed, I would consider the following:
Seeking the support of other family and friends for help. Looking for a counselor or joining a support group. Seeking out respite care to give yourself a break from taking care of your mom.
Just try to take it moment by moment, but don't be afraid to seek out help. There are lots of community resources. You are not alone. Thinking of you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had taken over caring for my grandma when my mom was dealing with cancer. She had surgeries, chemo and radiation, had cancer eating away her body and honestly she needed me to care for her so her caring for my grandma was impossible. That little second of interaction reminded me of how I was sad and heartbroken but that she needed me to continue to care for her.
At first it was hard. I'd start crying at the worst times. Sometimes when putting her to sleep I'd just sit there and quietly cry. Other times I'd be crying while fixing her meal at the microwave with my back turned towards her but still in her sight so she didn't get upset at being left alone. Other times while she was using the bathroom I'd pretend to read a book while really just crying while she was sitting and using the bathroom. It was hard. What I wanted to do was what a lot of people have the pleasure of doing and that was to go to bed and not wake up for days. I was so tired after caring around the clock for my mom. I had a caregiver with grandma (the state of CT was nice and gave me extra care for my grandma so I could be with my mom. In fact the helper we had, even stayed longer the last morning after I had used up my respite care hours when she knew it was time for extra hours just so I could sit with my mom. Her mom had passed away and she was with her mom and she wanted to make sure I was with mine when it happened.)
It was hard. When my caregiver helper would come in to sit with my grandma, I would escape to the basement where I could talk to mom and pack up my entire house to get ready to move to Maine because I wanted to be near my sister and her family. I spent that time really truly grieving. I'd cry at first almost constantly, then it got a little less but a box in her handwriting would set me off. Having those hours to myself to really cry it out helped. I'd come upstairs probably looking terrible after crying on and off for hours but I'd be tired so I was able to care for grandma tired but not in tears so often.
Take your time for yourself when you can. Don't be afraid to cry. Don't be afraid to look for help. Even if you can't get totally away from your mom, having respite care come into the house to really care for her while you take time for yourself is huge. As stated earlier there are resources out there. Don't be afraid that during this time you can't do it alone. It's ok. Everyone is allowed to need help sometimes. Just take it a day at a time. I personally found the fact that I had to carry on to care for someone else, something that helped as I couldn't lose myself in my grief, I was needed. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. You aren't alone.
I'm sorry to hear how are you feeling. If you are grieving the loss of a pet, another family member or friend or your mom's health and feeling overwhelmed, I would consider the following:
Seeking the support of other family and friends for help.
Looking for a counselor or joining a support group.
Seeking out respite care to give yourself a break from taking care of your mom.
Just try to take it moment by moment, but don't be afraid to seek out help. There are lots of community resources. You are not alone. Thinking of you.
Or are you grieving over the decline you see happening in your mother?
A little more explanation will help us give relevant answers.