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I seriously messed up!! My mom has had parkingsons for 17 years. I had her living beside me for the last 5 years and with a hired caregiver a few hours a week we were managing. Then my mom started falling all the time and got sick. She ended up in the hospital and they sent her to a nursing home. At my mom’s request she wanted out of the nursing home so I place her into an assisted living facility. Huge mistake!!! We will not be able to afford the assisted living facility more than a few months and now the path to a nursing home seems out of reach. I’ve called a few with no such luck. She doesn’t currently qualify for Medicaid but should in the next several months. I am so upset and do not know what she do. She cannot live alone!!! Any advice?

Yes, I went to the 3 local NHs near me and toured them. Picked one and talked to them. They agreed to the private pay for 2 months. In my State you have 90 days to get paperwork needed, spent down and a place picked out. So, if Mom has 20k, you get her in for 2months and get that application started. The NH can help you. At that point she may be considered Medicaid pending. That means whatever months Mom has not covered, Medicaid should pick up. Mom will need to turn over her SS and any pension towards her care once she is not paying.
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You have wonderful advice below, and there's no more I can contribute. I wish you really good luck and hope you'll update us.
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
Thank you!
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My Mom was living in an AL when I transferred her to p LTC. I took the 20k she had left and private paid for 2 months. This gave me time to apply for Medicaid andvget her spent down. Once I proved I spent her down, Medicaid started the 3rd month.

You will more likely get Mom into LTC if you pay privately and go into Medicaid. Just make sure the facility takes Medicaid.
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
So did you just have to call around the NH to find one that accepts Medicaid and would accept private pay till she got approved? I couldn’t affford above $20,000 - that is all she has left!
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I think you need to talk to a social worker and/or a Medicaid Planner for her home state.

Also, AL is not going to solve her falling issue. Falling at home and facilities is very problematic because when the person has the ability to keep getting up and out of a chair or bed and *thinks* they have full mobility, they will just keep falling since facilities are extremely reluctant to use approved restraints on residents because it's just too full of liability and lawsuit issues.

Please do not contribute to paying for her care -- it is unsustainable and will just drain your savings for when *you* need your own care.
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
Thank you so much! Great advice
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Being in the AL and spending down her assets will make her eligible for Medicaid.
The question is ...does the facility where she is now have the ability to keep her or is her care beyond what they can manage? Do they accept Medicaid?
If the facility where she is now can manage her care long term talk to them now about Medicaid application.
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
They do not accept Medicaid. Being so uneducated in this area I made a few mistakes and now feel desperate and stuck
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The path to the nursing home is still the same as it was before. Hospital to nursing home if you can't get her admitted into a Medicaid nursing home of your choosing on your own. Just do not pick her up and take her to your home from the assisted living facility. If it gets to the point where the assisted living facility pressures you to remove her, and you still have not been able to find a nursing home to admit her, get a state social worker (APS) involved. So, either get her into the hospital and have the hospital send her to a nursing home, or get the state social worker to help you. Just make sure you do not pick her up yourself from the assisted living.
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
So part of my problem about the AL is I mistakenly signed that I would be the one responsible for paying. I am so upset I did this and regret it immensely as I’m afraid they could take legal action if we don’t pay the bill.
I am tempted to go up there and bring my husband and tell them that they need to tear that up because we will not be financially responsible. My own mother needs to be the one that is responsible. I thought if I take my husband perhaps he can say that I signed the papers without his knowledge
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If she stays in the AL for a few more months she will spend down her assets and then be able to qualify for Medicaid assistance to get into a nursing home. Or is the issue that now that she has left the NH for AL she does not want to go back?
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Khollow Mar 23, 2025
She doesn’t mind going into a nursing home but she will not get approved for Medicaid right now but will in several months after paying for the AL - I am just nervous that nursing homes don’t seem very responsive to patients coming outside of being in the hospital and I have no clue how to get her admitted to a hospital
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