So after months in the court system, I was granted Guardianship of my dad. The judge agreed that because of dementia and other issues he needed a guardian and who better than his only child. After being scammed out of over $60,000 by a few nephews I couldnt continue seeing my loved one being taken advantage of. He was left homeless on the streets and once I got granted guardianship, I got a case worker to help me get him medicaid and into a nursing home where he gets his medication, showers and 3 meals a day. Not to mention activities each day. My loved one is a wanderer & at risk for elopement which is why they need 24/7 care. Now my question... How can I make sure these family members stay away and make sure they dont contact him? All they do is cry to him about money and agitate him. He calls me up to 5 times a day saying he needs to get out so he can help them. These are people who just prey on him states away. They are not even in this state but call and hound him. The facility he is at can't control ALL calls so theres that. Does anyone know if I can even restrict these family memberd from calling him or receiving his calls by law being that they are states away? He had no contact with them for 2 months and he was thriving. Now, he’s agitated, having to get Ativan every 6 hours and calling me numerous times a day. I hate to see him so distressed. I’ve spoken with these family members, but they have no idea how hard Dementia is or how it works and constantly try to “bring him back to this reality” even though he doesnt understand how things are now which only further frustrates him.
Get that attitude you now are "in charge". You now make the decisions for Dad. He needs no input. Have ur guardianship on file with the NH.
As said, if the calls are not from you, no calls are to be given to Dad. I would ask if they had a list of who can't visit or take him out of the building. Then I would send a letter to all these people informing them as of such and such a date, a Judge reviewed Dads medical records and found him incompetent to make informed decisions because of his Dementia. At that time you were awarded guardianship. Dad no longer has any money. His SS and any pension he receives goes directly to the NH to offset his care with Medicaid paying their share. You are requesting that they stop calling him. All it does is agitate him and there is no longer anything he can do for them. Also, you have banned them from visitation because you feel they are detrimental to Dads wellbeing. If they can't abide by these demands, you may need to get restraining orders. Thank you for your consideration.
Not sure if you can get restraining orders against people in other States but they may not know that. If they continue to hound Dad after that, they really have problems.
YOU get to call the shots as to who visits and who contacts him in the facility.
Prohibit all calls not from you,. (if he has a cell phone you can restrict the calls he can make and you can restrict the calls he gets. If he uses the facility phone you can ask them to place the call ONLY to you)
Prohibit all visits other than yours.
If you wish for him to talk to the other family members you can be there when they call and you can monitor the calls.
If they wish to visit you can arrange controlled, monitored visits.
This is the difficult part of making decisions that are in the best interest of the person you are Guardian for.
If they continue you can get a restraining order.
I would put a sign at the nurse's station that says "No calls for Mr. X except from his daughter 000-000-0000" And then put the same sign on the door to his room and over his bed. I don't know how they are going to control the calls...
I don't understand that the facility cannot handle the calls. With seniors with dementia in fact they usually must ASSIST with all calls.
I would contact the admins and tell them the situation. I would tell them to make a "no phone calls unless from your number" notation in his records.
That SHOULD suffice. I kept in contact with my brother's ex, suffering from alcoholic encephalopathy, and he got no calls other than me and sister; that was managed by his facility. They usually do not want an upset elder.
If telling them Dad has no fund other than those under your control
AND
telling the facility no calls,
then you are down to the medication, and just tell dad daily that "you know, you spoke with "so and so" and it is taken care of. He will forget. You will go through the same role again next day.
Good luck.
if you think they’ll show up in person, you can tell the facility not to allow them in, or to allow them only if you are there too.
Bless you for all you’ve done for him. Let us know how it goes.