My father-in-law is in end stage of copd and recieves hospice care a few times a week.
He has always been difficult, argumenatative and passive-aggressive. I also know that people with copd are some of the most difficult people to care for because of the constant struggle to breathe.
He acts as if he does not trust my husband and I when it comes to meds. He honestly thought morphine was imbalming fluid and that I was trying to kill him.
After almost a year of constant struggle with him, to even get him to take the prescribed meds. correctly, he has finally ( for now at least ), accepted the meds.
The main problem I am having are his out bursts and complete lack of respect for me. When he yells at me or says something disrepspectful, I very calmly tell him that if he cannot respect me, that I can no longer help him. Of course he ALWAYS denies anything has taken place. There was one occurance, where I thought he was going to hit me.
How can I work through issues with him, when he is in complete denial?
Thanks.
One of our experts just published an article on this very subject. I think you will find it helpful. The link is below.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-temper-tantrums-156852.htm
I wish you the best,
The AgingCare.com Team
You wouldn't let anyone else treat you that way, why him?
You are reacting to a Loud, Fearful, probably Remorseful old man. Why?
You must EQUIP yourself each time you deal with him by reminding yourself that he is like a sick caged animal. You still have to do your job--right? If you don't then that's different.
Tell yourself it's just "special FX." That's how I get through scary movies. LOL
Seriously, don't take his bs personally and don't try to convince him or argue with him. You know what's real and he has another reality.
Finally, please try this: The next time he blows up and threatens with anger and accusations, be very calm. Have patience and understanding. Let him know that you are there if he would like to discuss his fears or concerns. You have to be strong and know it's not about you, it's about a very sick old man:( take care, xo