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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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This isn't unusual for either gender. One young CNA (male) told me that a woman in the nursing home would be so relieved to have him care for her because he was, unlike the other males, married. That seemed to make it less stressful. I'm not sure if this will work with you but if you're married you could talk about your husband enough so at least he understand that this isn't sexual.
I do know that my father-in-law hated having females give him baths or any intimate care. He allowed it but he hated it. That isn't unusual for the older generation. Modesty was important to both genders.
As long as he at least allows you to care for him you can keep working on the comfort level. He'll get used to it eventually. Take care, Carol
Tell him you're a trained medical professional and naked bodies to you are no big deal; they're like engine blocks to auto mechanics, or whatever metaphor you prefer.
Maybe he's modest for religious regions, or he's ashamed that his body is no longer what it used to be back when Nixon was president. Let him hold a washcloth in front of his bait and tackle, or close the curtains for privacy if he's not a fall risk,
No offense to men but most aides in a facility are women. I wonder why this gentleman is so uncomfortable having a woman help him shower.
Built trust. Give him a bed bath first. Then the next time it's his turn to shower he might feel more comfortable.
Or go to him, if he doesn't have dementia, and express to him that you understand how he feels but that you're a professional, this is your job, and that you've given hundreds of showers. Tell him that he'll feel better after a shower and it only takes a few minutes.
You leave a towel wrapped around his waist for modesty and close the curtain when he gets to that part. Watch the Teepa Snow video on youtube about bathing.
Perhaps you could stop by periodically and get acquainted with him, just chatting about "guy stuff". Don't even mention showers. Just get to know him and let him get to know you.
Maybe he'll feel more comfortable by the time shower day comes around.
Let him keep his underwear on a few times and step away while he washes that part. Hand him clean ones around the curtain. This is very common but everyone gets used to it in the end.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do know that my father-in-law hated having females give him baths or any intimate care. He allowed it but he hated it. That isn't unusual for the older generation. Modesty was important to both genders.
As long as he at least allows you to care for him you can keep working on the comfort level. He'll get used to it eventually.
Take care,
Carol
Maybe he's modest for religious regions, or he's ashamed that his body is no longer what it used to be back when Nixon was president. Let him hold a washcloth in front of his bait and tackle, or close the curtains for privacy if he's not a fall risk,
Built trust. Give him a bed bath first. Then the next time it's his turn to shower he might feel more comfortable.
Or go to him, if he doesn't have dementia, and express to him that you understand how he feels but that you're a professional, this is your job, and that you've given hundreds of showers. Tell him that he'll feel better after a shower and it only takes a few minutes.
Maybe he'll feel more comfortable by the time shower day comes around.