I've been talking care of my mother with dementia, with no help. I don't have a job; can I be paid as her caregiver?

I would really caution you not to. I did that and ended up incredibly sorry. What most people don't realize is that even though Medicaid allots a certain number of hours per week according to the state you are in, it is up to the Long Term Care insurance company to decide to allow the hours. Insurance companies are notoriously greedy. The state I am in mandated direct care worker pay be increased to $15 an hour. Soon after my relative's hours were cut on very short notice, with no reported change in status and no in person evaluation. Then they cut them again. Relative's MD sent repeat letters to the insurance company stating that relative needs all hours, and to reinstate them as soon as possible for her necessary care. They won't budge, just keep sending us to appeals and denying it. Two case managers at the LTC insurance company told me outright that they are doing it for financial reasons, and that member care hours were cut across the board. One case manager said members are pleading to get their needed hours reinstated but she can't do anything about it, because the decision is made above her. What is now happening is that members are not getting the care hours required for their care, and PDO (patient directed option) caregivers (usually family), are left bearing the burden of continuing to provide needed care in hours and hours of labor that are no longer being paid for. I honestly feel like I was tricked into coercive domestic servitude. I gave up my corporate job to provide in home care for my relative, they initially provided hours and then cut them. They know what they are doing as they know that it is typically family providing care (usually a daughter), and they exploit this. When I have pushed back about the hours and hours of labor I am now performing uncompensated, I get met with dismissive statements that sentimentalize or moralize hours and hours of uncompensated labor in caregiving tasks. For example "yeah, caregiving is hard". They have already been sanctioned $9 million by Medicaid for denying legitimate claims for sick children, and sued by corporate employees for refusing to pay overtime to them. It doesn't matter though because they almost entirely run a monopoly in the state.

If you do decide to be paid to provide in home care you MUST understand that you cannot rely on the LTC insurance to give an adequate amount of hours required for care. You must also expect for them to be cut on short notice at any time as it suits the insurance company. Had I known what I know now I would NEVER have done things this way. DON'T give up an income to do this. It is not an income you will be able to rely on. Also policies for hospitalizations mean you don't get paid while the member is hospitalized, even if it is for a month and even if you are still working communicating with doctors, insurance, nursing staff, if your relative is disabled and you are at the hospital providing assistance to them it all = NO PAY.

Finally, with dementia, ultimately your LO is going to need memory care in a facility equipped for that. I have read stories on here of caregivers essentially held hostage in their LO's home due to not being able to leave from the unfolding effects of dementia. You can still advocate for you LO if placed somewhere, visit a lot, but I think from what I have read dementia requires more than in home care for one person to maintain on an ongoing basis.

Meliss76: Perhaps your mother can apply for Medicaid.

I live in upstate New York and my dad has Alzheimer’s and lives with me and I get paid through Freedom Care. He does have Medicaid so I would check with your states health department, department of aging. Good luck. Also check on Humana because they offer a benefit allowance that helps with food, adult diapers, some household bills. Granted it is NOT an easy process. Lots of interviews, assessments etc.

It might be time to have your mother apply for Medicaid and be placed in a Medicaid facility so you can get back to work and she can be taken care of 24/7 and you can get back to just being her loving daughter and advocate and not her stressed out and broke caregiver.
Your mother will only continue to get worse and you now need to not only do what is best for her but also what is best for you and your husband.
And until you get her placed you can call 211 to find out what resources may be available in your area to help.

We don't know your circumstances, or your mom, and don't know how she will qualify for state programs. So this is something you must research for yourself.
I would start with the question as to whether she is on Medicaid or not. And if she is, whether she would qualify mentally/physically for inhome help and whether you state program will allow you to act for her.
If your mom has savings then it's up to her really to pay you for care if she is able.

At best, care payments by the government, state and/or federal, isn't enough to sustain a lifestyle. If your Mom passes you may be alone, without job or job history, and we have had in the past to recommend to posters that they move to a shelter.

Be certain, if mom DOES pay you for care, to keep a good paper trail as should she ever need to apply to Medicaid it is important that she can pass the 5 years without gifting qualifications. It can't look as though she is giving you money.

I wish you the best and hope you find the information you are looking for.