My 74 year old mothere survived a stroke and the day of discharge from the hospital. She was in total agreement to go to a facility for rehabilitation. 2 days after she was there, she refused all her meds. And all food and water, now she is going Downhill. They brought her back to the hospital.But they are saying they can't find out why she won't eat or take her pills.She just keeps telling me she wants us to let her go. They have done so many tests and can't figure out why she won't eat or drink or take meds. I feel like she has given up my sister says they are missing something. Yesterday my mom got so upset with me for trying to talk with her and try to get her to take the meds, she shook her fists and tried screaming without any sound the nurse had to calm her down and she went back to sleep. I feel I upset her more should I just let it be. We also have no idea what her wishes are or if she has a will. My sister lives with her and does not even know how to keep up her bills and mortgage we are at such a loss. And no we do not have any POA she refuses that.
It is sad that at the young age of 74 that she seems to have thrown in the towel and is refusing to fight to get some of what she's lost from the stroke back.
You can't make anyone fight if they don't want to, so perhaps it's best that you call in hospice now, so at least she will be kept comfortable and pain free until she passes.
And maybe by calling in hospice that may just be the wake up call your mother needs to decide if she really wants to die or if she wants to decide to fight.
It's her choice.
"...she shook her fists and tried screaming without any sound".
Your Mother is communicating with her words & her gestures.
What do you think your Mother is saying & showing you?
If she doesn’t really want to die, this will call her bluff. If she does want to die, it would be a real help for you if she first gives you the information you need.
Does she want Hospice? If so find a Hospice in your area and have her evaluated/
If mom wants to live and get better she has to start taking her medications and do what the doctors want her to do.
This is HER choice. That is how you support her...
(Getting ER doctors, hospital staff, and families to respect your written directives is an issue for another thread.)
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