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As a caregiver, I often find it challenging to manage my responsibilities while taking care of my mental and physical health. How do others here set boundaries, find time for self-care, or ask for help when needed? I'd love to hear your tips and experiences.

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Hi,
This is a great question and important question. It is crucial to make time for yourself as a caregiver. My dad is now in a facility but I was his caregiver for 21 years and I did not ever make time for myself. I only started setting boundaries about a year before he went into the facility. This forum and counseling helped me to learn to set boundaries. When he was able to do some things for himself, I chose certain days to help him. This is part of setting boundaries. Are you the sole caregiver? If so, are you able to find some help? It is so very important to take care of yourself and learn to say no sometimes and stick to it. If whoever you are caring for is able to do anything for themselves, let them. Please do not run yourself down like I did. If they are not able to do anything for themselves, then it is crucial to try to get some help. Caregiving can cause depression especially if everything is on you or the person is unpleasant.
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Reply to faithfulbeauty
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I placed Mom into Daycare 3x a week. Monday, Wed, and Friday. The bus picked her up at 8am and dropped her off about 3pm. They fed her breakfast and lunch. She was given therapy there and they showered her for me too. Gave me time to get my shower and then DH and I would do something together.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I think for me it's important to know your limitations going IN.
Otherwise you'll be stuck learning the hard way.

I was an RN by career at the point that my brother, Hansel to my Gretel and guide throughout my life, descended into the diagnosis of Lewy's Dementia. Because I had been an RN I had learned first hand my own limitations. I knew I could give a lot and loved it, but I also knew I needed time between shifts, lots of sick days and a good amount of vacation. Those things are sorely missing from 24/7 care. It was clear to me I couldn't in a billion years manage in home care no matter HOW much I loved the person involved.

Other than that, I have no hints or clues. But so many here HAVE taken on that task and I think if EvaMar and StrugglinSon and a whole HOST of others answer you will get some good input. I will say that staying here and simply reading will let you know that we all have limitations, and that it's important to honor them. We have seen people go under from lack of doing so. I am glad you are reaching out, thinking, and trying to take into consideration what you must for your own health and well being. The loved one you care for is nowhere if you fall ill.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I’m fortunate enough to have someone (not family) come in 5 days a week, 8hrs a day. In the beginning it was 3 days a week, then a realized I needed more help. We use my mom’s savings and her pension and her social security. This has made a huge difference in my mom’s care and it gives me time to do what I need to do for mayself (even if it means doing nothing).
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Reply to Justretired99
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I’d love to know more about your situation; who you are caring for and what kind of responsibilities you’re trying to work around. Advice may depend on what your loved one’s limitations and requirements are, and yours as well. Universally though, it’s great that you are asking the tough questions. It takes a great deal of soul-searching to find the answers and many on this forum have done that work.
Personally, I’m still in the midst of determining what I am capable of and dealing with the feelings of inadequacy and guilt that it’s not as much as I had previously given myself credit for. I’ve still got a lot of work to do.
You don’t mention dementia but if that’s what you are dealing with you have the added element of unpredictability. That makes it even harder to set boundaries because the goalposts, and even the lines on the field, are always shifting.
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Reply to Peasuep
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Hire someone for 4 hours on a regular basis to give you a break.
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Reply to brandee
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