I am caring for my 94 year old mother at home. She has severe dementia. She recently recovered from RSV for which she was hospitalized for a week. While in the hospital she suffered devastating hospital induced delirium and had to be in bed restraints day and night. I will not do this to her again. Her dementia has worsened since the hospitalization.
As her caregiver, if I contract corona virus there is every reason to expect she will get it as well. I am mentally preparing that this will probably end her life. Another horrifying trip to the ER for her and then hospitalization will be pointless and cruel. Love my mom and can’t do this to her again.
Have any of you given this any thought?
she also has a very bad heart condition, should have a valve transplant but this would be the end of her. So it is not good.
Her mind is totally gone, she drives me insane she has no understanding of reality. She has no memory at all, last night I put her to bed as she said she wanted to sleep, 3 minutes later she is yelling help help I got to get home my mother doesn’t know where I am. This goes on 24 hours a day. We have no peace till she falls asleep. I do admit I ignore most of her yelling because when I ask her what she wants it’s always I got to go home. So no, I will not be visiting the hospital with her. I may sound heartless but the end would be a blessing.
Several years ago, 2 years into my mom's NH stay due to dementia,CHF and a broken hip, my mom ended up in Septic shock in the hospital. Although she survived, it was clear at that point that every hospitalization set her back several steps. We started practicing "less is more" care and signed off on the NH not sending her to the ER any longer without consulting us.
They successfully treated two more bouts of pneumonia and a UTI "in house" before she died.
I think you are doing the right thing.
You have my sympathy, being "between a rock and a hard place."
Some thoughts:
How old are the children in day care? Are they old enough to comprehend being sick, and to understand what it means? Are they old enough to read?
What activities are planned for them?
My thoughts are to conduct your own education program; even if the children aren't able to educate their parents, you may be able to instill in them some cautions, as well as increase protection at the day care center.
You could start with what it means to be sick, to be very sick, how they feel about it, and what they do at home to protect themselves.
Then institute a program of cleanliness, starting with each child washing hands on arrival, and after touching each other or objects of potential transference.
I doubt if the parents would comply, but you (or whoever owns the day care) could institute a requirement that children bring a small bottle of hand sanitizer from home, for their own use at the facility.
Daily go through the repetition of cleanliness, safety, covering mouths when coughing or sneezing, and other preventative tactics.
If they read, and/or if they're computer literate, ask them to find articles on safety during pandemics, then have the children read their articles and discuss them as a group. (This may be too challenging if they're younger children though.)
My thoughts are that notwithstanding parental ignorance, you might be able to train the children and at least possibly reduce some practices which could contribute to better hygiene in the day care center, and thus possibly reduce some element of risk.
OTOH, I think that sooner or later smaller businesses are going to be shutting down, and there is that possibility. I'm not trying to be discouraging, just cautioning you to consider that option.
I'm with you 100%.
13 years later, I feel like we are living a similar nightmare with this virus.
As BarbBrooklyn says, I think you took the right decision; if I may add something, go into self-isolation asap. It's hard. But I really think the sooner the better. You'll be both fine :)
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